i have been soaking up all of your wonderful feedback and putting some wheels into motion. it was exactly what i was hoping to find out: what makes you stop in here, what you love, and what you could do without (or completely dislike as some cases may be! haha!).
i was not looking for love or people gushing about my minuscule space here, but thanks just the same for any love you sent my way. i don't think there can ever be enough love and good vibes out there. i put that out there because i care about your thoughts.
i do know that i have remained genuine and sincere here. maybe not using as many words (because i don't write as often) but with photographs. this teeny tiny visual of my life almost encompasses my life as a whole. it's an accurate representation of our lives, as anyone who knows us in real life would agree to.
and i love how you all wanted me to just do this for myself, and not think of others. but honestly, i don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to give to others. by giving, we also receive in ways we might have never expected. and having made real and lasting connections with some of you, that is a gift in itself.
mark and i have discussed all of this for months now. he loves my space here, although rarely visits. he says he already lives it and that is wonderful enough. but he too has seen the benefits of connections and new friends, all because of this space. he is known and loved by more people than he thought was possible, and feels very grateful and fortunate.
there will always be haters; people who want nothing more than to bring you down. for whatever reason, i don't know. i prefer to build people up. we're all in this life thing together you know. we are all different and lead different lives. we may take bits and pieces from someone else's and make it our own. we may use someone we look up to and find inspiring as a motivation for our own life. it's what makes the world go round. that's why i share here. if you are rooted in jealously and hate, you will breed it in your life. like getting stuck in a bottomless hole. if you are rooted in love, acceptance, and compassion, your life will reflect that. it's all a choice. i choose love.
it is indeed time to move on from this space, but only because this chapter has ended. as someone so eloquently put it "a chapter has ended, but not the whole book." and that's exactly what it is. this space will morph into a new space in the near future. a space that you can choose to visit, or decide it's not to your liking.
i am a photographer. i document the world through my camera lens. i am not vivian maier who chose to lock up her work behind an attic door. i choose to share, because that's what i feel life is all about. what i gathered from most of you was that you stop here for the images; the calmness. and that is exactly what i love to do.
so that's what i will do; create a peaceful space full of visual treats in all forms. a collective space for the three of us to share together, because i am not just bluebirdbaby anymore. i am one of three.
thank you for being here, and please continue to check back for what's next...xo
*i'm closing the comments to this post, but feel free to e-mail me at email@example.com if you want to get in touch!*
(photos from a very windy beach trip the day before our wedding)
oh, where to start? change. yup, there's been a lot. our wedding was wonderful and unbelievably perfect thanks to some talented friends of ours. full of so much love it almost made my heart burst. i kept it off this space because it felt almost sacred. like just for us. it wasn't intentional, just a choice i made unconciously, but for good reason i suppose.
i fully intended to shut this blog down after our big day. things are changing, life is moving forward in almost a fast forward motion and it's hard to keep up with all of the wonderfulness. i remain authentic and genuine in this space, but i suppose i have felt limited because, really...90% of our life is, well, for us. not for here, not for anyone but our family of three.
somehow, after many ups and downs and navigating through some pretty tough times, i have come out on top. i have cultivated the life i have always wanted. i am happy, content, grateful, fortunate, successful, and loved. i marvel at my life and a moment never goes by without being grateful for everything.
i started this space seven years ago. i am now 30 years old, not 23. you must all know that your 20's are a time of great growth. you set the foundation for the rest of your life in your 20's. a very small portion of my life's journey has been documented here; the ups and downs and shifts and changes. i have lost readers and gained others. and if anyone thinks that i should be the same person i was when i was 23, well...you are reading the wrong blog and getting to know the wrong person. i am all about growth. i live my life with courage and am not afraid to jump in and learn from it. when i am 40, i will be completely different from the 30 year old me. it's just how i roll; i'm only interested in evolving.
i am not bluebirdbaby anymore. i outgrew that long ago and knew it. this space has been a gift and has nurtured me, supported me, i've met many incredible people because of it, but i have never wanted to turn it into something insincere. i post pictures because i am a photographer. i post pictures because i love shooting and it's what i do. i write a little here and there because sometimes i have thoughts worth sharing. but my life is not full of struggle and heartache and bad days right now. and it's also not full of epiphanies and larger than life moments either. it's just normal. for the first time in my life i am just happy and content, and things are mellow and easy.
so that comes down to a pretty mundane space here. or what i think it has transformed into for anybody reading. i do this for YOU. not me anymore. i do it because i have had countless people write me thanking me, or saying i've even saved their lives. and that is an amazing thing that pushes me to keep going. but going towards what?
for a few months now i had full intentions of blogging about our wedding, with a big ol' goodbye and thank you for your support. i mean, one can only blog for so long...right?! so i told the little one, and her response? near tears with a "oh please don't mama! i LOVE bluebirdbaby!" hmmm...ok. rethink. reevaluate. what do i want? what do i need?
and then i thought of you all. what do you want? what do you need? i have a lot to give, i really do. but maybe it's not what you want. so then why would i be doing it in the first place?
i guess this is like giving YOU the power to decide which direction this space heads. quit it? change it? keep going as is (which seems just not what any of us need)?
i am not perfect, nor do i need my life to "appear" that way either (which was never my intention). i am not afraid of being different or stepping outside the box, or being that blogger that, well...just put it all out there for better or worse. i never presume to know what it's like to walk in somebody else's shoes, i do not judge, i live out of kindness and acceptance. that's me and how i've always been.
so what will it be? i'm letting go of everything. it's up to you.
this week you:
I'm sure you're all aware that Typepad has been down, hence the quietness here! It is hopefully back up and running for a good long time. Hope you have all had a great week so far.
these photos are from a warm and wonderful day we had last week, alternating between inside and outside with the door wide open while waiting for our dinner guests to arrive. the little one has been enjoying the bubble set mark got her and is absolutely thrilled to watch them float up into the sky. sometimes we think they just might reach the moon!
so there was a brief glimpse of spring, and maybe even summer. i started dreaming of beach days and picnics, started putting the winter clothes away and definitely the shovels. garden plans were made and we were all feeling just a little bit lighter and much more energized after a long and cold winter.
but this morning i woke up to the sound of the snow plow. i thought, "no! it surely couldn't be!" and was certain i was still dreaming. but no...we got snow, school was delayed, and i pulled out the winter boots and hats again.
luckily despite the cold temperatures, the sun has melted most of it. i think next week will be warmer and hopefully we can put the winter clothes away for good!
what's the weather like where you are? i know some of my readers are even just starting their winters!
this week you:
10 random things:
how about you? will you play too?
there's been a little delay in announcing the winner of the Eyes Open e-course because of a work-filled weekend, but i am so thrilled for all the entries.
the winner is #46:
oooh spring. I think the light warm breeze on your cheek, the breath of spring air is my favourite
congrats Caitlin! send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and I will get you all set up!
this week you:
It's that time again...one week to go until the next Eyes Open E-course starts! I'm taking a limited number of participants this go around because of my busy schedule and I want to insure that everyone gets the one-on-one attention they need.
As always, I'm offering a free slot to one lucky reader! Just leave a comment and tell me what your favorite thing about spring is and I'll draw a winner on Friday at 5 pm EST.
we were very social yesterday, visiting new and old friends all day. we got back at a ridiculously late time (let's just say it was almost the next day) and collapsed into bed. mark likes to sleep late and i'm usually up early staring at the ceiling, listening to his breathing, and daydreaming about all the things i want to accomplish in a day.
today was one of those mornings. when we ventured downstairs to start coffee (for him) and tea (for me) we sat on the couch reading the new Selby book and making more plans for the house. we have many projects coming up...big projects. they are exciting and it's fun to dream up how we want things to look and actually make it happen.
then we ate a delicious breakfast of omelettes stuffed with fresh kale, mushroom sauteed in butter, homemade pesto, and feta cheese. afterwards we spent the better part of the morning hanging some new pieces on the walls. i was excited to print and hang my first photograph (one from NYC) and have it on our wall. the little one thinks it's pretty swell.
now he's working on wedding stuff while i work on editing. it's hard to believe the day is almost over...i've only crossed off three things out of my to-do list of 10.
the red came out great, by the way. almost like it's always been there...
what did your sunday morning look like?
this week you:
yesterday while working on editing thousands of photos, i reached my 9th hour only to have the power go out suddenly. we were left in the quiet; no sound of the pellet stove, no music, no humming of the fridge...just quiet.
mark put together dinner in our dark kitchen (which i noticed has some natural light that time of day) while i took some pictures.
the power came back on just as we were getting really chilly, my photos were fine (thank you Lightroom for auto save!), dinner was delicious, and the rest of the evening was mellow.
today i am going through more of the photos, which will be my daily task for the next three weeks. we took apart our dining room this morning to add some color to our gallery wall. i was hesitant to start adding colors to our walls because it was like living in a giant whitebox (perfect for photographs!) but the color really does add a little personality, and makes it more "us."
how are you all doing?
this week you: