Spirited Little Ones

I feel as though my posting about Elisabeth has been a little lax, so grab a cup of tea and a cookie...this one might be a doozy.

From the first day of Elisabeth's life, I knew she was different. She's intense, smart, high energy, curious, mischievous, outgoing, extroverted, determined, fearless and always on the go. She came out wanting to run and I swear is continually frustrated by the things she can't yet do.

When she walked at 10 months, you could physically see some of that frustration melting away. The more abilities she gains, the happier she is. She has never sat still (even when she couldn't crawl yet), never wanted to be held in a position that is relaxing or left alone for some quiet time. She doesn't cuddle and would rather only be held if there is something interesting for her to see at the grown-up level. When she gets hurt, she cries for a second, brushes herself off and goes right back to doing what got her hurt in the first place. She is the most determined little thing I have ever seen.

There mere mention of the word "no" sends her into a completely single minded state, where she can think of nothing else but doing the forbidden activity, or wanting that banished object. She spends most of our indoor time trying to get into the toilet or reaching for the disgusting brush behind it. Or what about the diaper pail? Yes, she thinks that's the most interesting thing of all. Electrical cords on the floor or outlets? Yes please! And shall we even mention the objects that go into her mouth while looking straight at me with those sly eyes? Pebbles, rocks, sand, dirt, grass, leaves, paper, buttons, dust balls, dog hair...you name it, she's tried it.

I used to wonder why she was so different. A lot of her "spiritedness" as a younger baby was caused by her lack of sleep. A newborn awake for 10 hours straight? No, it couldn't be, could it?! But once we got her sleeping better that spiritedness started working for her, instead of against her. (In this picture she is three weeks old and was alert like this pretty much all the time.)

Raising a spirited little one is exhausting work. Raising any child is a lot of work and every parenting adventure isn't without its challenges.  I've had so many older mothers come up to me while we are out and about and say, "She's different, I can tell. I had one too. Good luck to you." I can't even tell you how many times I've heard this. And I've spotted other little ones out there too with that same spirited quality that Elisabeth holds, all you have to do is look into their eyes.

She wants to swing high, run fast, climb stairs bigger than she, ride her bike at lightning speed, jump off any object she can climb, stand in her chair instead of sit, shout instead of talk with an "indoor voice", play with the big kids and, well, generally do everything more intensely. She throws herself down slides without first checking to see if mama is at the end to catch her. She will hurdle down stairs half as high as she without holding onto anything.

She trips, she falls, she stumbles and she gets right back up with more determination than before. She prefers cinnamon on her toast, garlic hummus instead of plain, pesto on her pasta, olive oil on her rice and garlic on her broccoli. She wants to hold her own spoon, turn her own pages, pick out her own clothes, put on her own socks and shoes, and I think if she could figure it out, she'd change her own diaper.

All of these qualities make for one extremely intense and spirited individual. There's no stopping her. I can't wait to see what the coming years will bring. What activities will she want to excel at or what will capture her interest? (Sky diving is my guess.) What she will be when she grows up? For now, we watch this determined little thing and know for a fact that she will be capable of so many things. Who knows... maybe she'll even change the world.

Comments

[Sarah]

Well, now that I've outed myself as a reader, let me say, "Welcome to the club!" I have one too. :-) I started reading your posts on MDC because I recognized the frustration and the daily (and nightly!) struggles. What you wrote here is what I wish I could have written when my daughter was Elisabeth's age. It took me at least a year to "recover" from her infancy, and while I'm so, so grateful to have a girl who will never be a pushover, being the mother of a spirited daughter is a very special journey, one you've described here very eloquently.

[Kristina]

All this at age one! Being a mother of a spirited child, I can tell you, you are in trouble. My almost three year old is soo frustrating at times I dream of selling her. But she is so sharp and funny, it almost makes up for the challenges of bringing her up. :)

I could write volumes about the little determined person that she is. When she was 8 or so months old, she learned to stand up. Without holding on to anything, she was just spring up and stand. After that she never sat up, she only stood. I have many a photo of her with her legs spread wide, looking at the world from a standing vantage point.

But oh man, is she difficult! She loves to challenge me. Her latest thing is to try to run into the street, while laughing gleefully of course.

[Kristina]

I must add the first picture is my favorite. Her piercing blue eyes are gorgeous, and that look could nail something!

Looking forward to reading the chronicles of your parenting adventures.

[Offshore Wife]

i too am a mother of a very spirited little girl. it is very trying at times but i know that my little one will make it in this fast paced world. I want to start teaching her quiet things like working with clay and knitting. I am waiting for her to run out of a bit more steam. Your daughter is beautiful. Congratulations.

[natasha S]

okay,second attempt at posting!!!
AH,yes those people that can't keep those said things n their head.well I have two,yes two out of my three are spirited children,people love to say "rather you than me"!G,the middle one gave me a much needed break but I LOVE LOVE the energy that is in our house.well 90% of the time,the other 10% is before i have had my coffee!!LOL.My daughter was my first experience and it was a tough,tiring road to travel,my family are 3000 miles away,so I travelled it alone.Over the years I have learned to embrace it,thank goodness as when Oll arrived,lightning speed in 2006,I knew I was in for another fun ride,and fun it is.I love reading your blog about miss E's adventures,I thinnk she and OL would get on like a house on fire!LOL
Great pics as usual.
OT,did you make your own pattern for your pants?they are nice and roomy,I would like to try to make a pair for ol,
cheers:0)

[Bluebirdbaby]

Thanks for your comments everyone! It's good to know there are some others out there who sometimes get as frustrated as I do :) It is hard.
Sarah- a year to recover from the infancy is about right. I am just coming out of it now. All of my friends are having babies right now and they are all sleeping merrily all day long, not making a peep. I get so bitter! :) No, I am happy for them. But, gosh, infancy with a spirited one is SO hard. People are always asking us when we'll try for more and I'm thinking maybe in about 5 more years!!

Offshore wife-Off to check out your website. Thanks for commenting. I too wonder if ELisabeth will ever be able to partake in "quiet" activities. Right now, no...but maybe someday?!

Natasha S-Yes, I made up the pattern for my pants. There is a great tutorial that I posted a while back with a link that I originally used when making pants. If you search my "crafting" posts using the categories on the side, you can probably find it. It was the starting point for me. I LOVE roomy pants with wide legs. I think they look so cute on little ones!

[eliza morrison]

erin-
my now 5-yr-old redhead (need i say more) was just the same. there were days in his 2's and 3's when i thought i may not make it one more minute. those were the times when he'd come out and say something so dear or so simple and profound that i'd forgive him all his sins and tuck away another "connor-ism" in the meomory bank. he's now 5 and startted kindergarten this year after a year at montessori-based preschool. we worried endlessly about sending him; that he would'nt listen, that he'd yell, that he would be too rough, that he would rather chop dovetails in dad's shop (he can,too, perfectly) than master his letters and numbers, and numerous other things. we have been soooo incredibly and pleasantly surprised. not only has connor excelled academically, he is determined to learn. he is responsible with his schoolwork and reminds my husband and i of "things we have to remeber for school" on a daily basis.
moral of story- she will find her own way. sometimes just when i think i have failed as a parent or that my children's will and power far exceeds mine, they remind me in their own way that they are becoming people every day... their own people. they were born and gifted to us as individuals and our job is simply to gently guide along the way... they will listen.
we'll get together one of these days after the plague leaves my house (i have 2 home today).
liza

[Emilie]

Yes, I have one too! I know how easy it is to get overwhelmed and to only think of the negative and to forget how absolutely wonderful a spirited child can be when you are sleep deprived and pulling yet another snail out of your child's mouth (in my case:)). Your post was very positive though, and I loved it! It helps me appreciate my son this morning even though he kept me up all night long.
These are the children who are the movers and the shakers, the ones who will get out there and change things. At least that's what I like to think :)

[cloth.paper.string]

oy. this could have been written about my little one -- word for word.
our fierce little one came into the world all red and howling nineteen months ago. we had a water birth and were told that to expect the newly born to be placid and pale. not the case. we knew that the calm and cool name we picked out was not going to work as soon as we laid eyes on her. so she was nameless for a few days until we found the name that better suited her intensity and spiritedness.
she didn't learn to sit up until after she learned to walk becuase she was constantly moving and pulling herself up.
it's a wild wild ride. just wait until she starts talking...

[molly]

such a wonderful post. i can only imagine how neat it will be for her to read it when she's 20 or 30 or....

you're a good momma.

[Sarah]

I love the little red riding hood costume, it's perfect for your little one. I too have spirited little daughter, she had the same alert expression as yours from birth, hardly slept and was sitting up by 5 months. I used to weep when I saw other babies that would sleep so easily in their pushchairs. Mine had to be rocked in my arms to sleep, so exhausting. She's just turned two now and needs so much stimulation and activity it's quite tiring but I find little walks outdoors can calm her down a lot. Thanks for your posting it's helped me understand my daughter a little better seeing her behaviour from another perspective.