Our wooden animals arrived yesterday and the little one was completely engrossed in play. It got me thinking about one of the most challenging parts of being a stay at home mom: having a very needy and demanding little one. A friend and I were recently talking about the amount of self-engaged play you should expect out of a 16-month-old. The little one is sorely lacking in this area. She's demanded my constant attention since day one (well, don't all newborns?) and I have been waiting for a gradual shift of imaginative play on her own. But she still needs my attention at all times.
There are days I put her to bed and still think I can feel those little hands pulling at my legs, or hear that distinct whine that lets me know my time washing the dishes, reading a book, or checking e-mail will soon be over. I've been told to ignore it, to let her figure out ways of entertaining herself, but the whining never ceases when I do this and instead picks up in intensity. I always give in and drop whatever I'm doing to sit on the floor amidst the toys, or plop on the couch with a favorite board book. As long as I'm sitting there doing absolutely nothing but watching her, she will play.
It's recently occurred to me that I spend almost the entire day trying to find time for myself; trying to get her to play on her own. That means whenever I sit down with her I am only thinking, "how long will I have to do this before I can get up and finish those dishes?" I am so fixed on her entertaining herself for more than a couple of minutes that I end up not enjoying the play time we have together.
Those seconds of playing with her new wooden figures yesterday quickly turned into minutes, then a half hour went by and I realized she was running around creating little stories about the animals. She was kissing them, making them "dance" on the floor, feeding them her snacks, tucking them under covers for a nap, and well, entertaining herself for a very good length of time. Is it the toys? Do the toys she has not inspire any self-engaged play? Or is it a developmental leap because she's getting older?
I suppose it doesn't matter. I was just beyond thrilled to see her interacting with her imagination. I think mindful parenting is something that comes and goes in my life as a mother. I seem to be able to "live in the moment" when I am not stressed or too busy. But isn't that when we need it most? For much of the day my head is either in the past or future. I need to be here: living each second as if it's the last I'll ever have. It really seems so silly to just tell yourself that e-mails can wait, dishes can stay dirty, who cares if I actually finish a book in the next year, and to just be in the here and now with my daughter. Because who really wants to look back and remember they spent their child's first years worrying about a messy house? Not me, that's for sure.
So here's to living in the moment. What could be a better challenge in the midst of a very cold and snowy winter?!
