Waldorf-Inspired and Parenting

This post is a hodgepodge of thoughts. I do not tend to get mushy and sentimental, so this is a side of me you may not hear often. I wrote this late last night, finished typing and thought "oh my...this is really too much." I thought about going back and editing it all, summarizing this very long post into a single paragraph. But then I realized that sometimes the raw emotions of a particular moment can really bring words to life. So I left this post untouched, just as it was when I wrote it curled up on the couch last night.

There's been a lot of talk about Waldorf education around here. A few weeks ago I joined the steering committee for a future Waldorf-inspired preschool cooperative. I first read about Rudolph Steiner when I became pregnant. The Waldorf idea intrigued me and I quickly wanted to learn more. I'm usually not keen on labels. I feel they are too restrictive, but most of the Waldorf theories connect with me on a deep level. It may not be for everyone, but for our family, it fits the bill. Shortly after joining the steering committee, I purchased the book Over the Rainbow Bridge and finished it in record time. I found it to be a very basic and gentle introduction to Waldorf education, parenting, and home life.

As the little one gets older, I find ourselves adopting a certain rhythm in our days. Our routine is not always the same each day, but lunch and nap time often ground us after a hectic morning. Some days I find myself waking up with that dreaded "how will we ever pass the time today?" feeling. This book talks about the importance of rhythm and how establishing certain days for specific activities can help a child develop a sense of time. So we made the chart you see above. Each day is designated for a certain activity such as wash day, baking day, soup day, painting day, hiking day, etc. A child doesn't really grasp the concept of "today is Monday", and are most likely to understand when you say "today is baking day." It eliminates the stress for me to fill our days with activities, and a comforting reminder that we'll have a familiar routine we can sink into week after week.

Yesterday we managed a challenging gluten-free bread recipe and even put a pot of homemade chicken soup on the table for supper. Just a few of weeks ago, I never thought I could do this with a whining toddler at my ankles. But I realized I have a little helper, and if I actually let her help, it can go pretty smoothly. I will admit, I'm really looking forward to next "baking" day.

Since my post about mindful parenting, I have really been working on being present. Every second of every day. When I'm playing with her, I am just playing with her. I'm not thinking of the dirty dishes, the diapers waiting to be washed, or the e-mails waiting to be read. I try to be patient, even in the midst of those toddler tantrums. I admit, patience is not one of my strongest suits. But it's getting better. Instead of playing with her when she's acting clingy, we do housework: cooking, baking, cleaning, laundry, sorting toys, and sweeping (her favorite). Sure, she slows a normally quick task down, but she's engaged in an activity, having fun, and learning at the same time. All the while right by my side, instead of clinging to my legs.

I've limited my computer time to be fully present. I am no longer on the computer when she is awake. I don't want her to think the computer is more important than she is. So much of my time can be sucked away with scouring the internet for information, and although I do learn a lot, I should be learning by doing. Our television (no actual channels come in here, but we do watch Netflix after she goes to bed certain nights) will be moved to the loft, so it will no longer be the focal point of our living room. Stephen and I are limiting our screen time to one or two nights a week, and are taking up reading and playing board games instead. If we don't want her watching television, why should we?

I want her to have a rich experience in her early years. I want her to feel connected with the natural world around her. We're planning on ducks and chickens this spring, and possibly goats this summer. I want her to know where her food comes from, how much effort it takes to grow the vegetables we put on our table. I want her to get to know the wonderful community of people in this area and how lucky we are to recognize at least a handful of people whenever we go into town. She lights up when we see their smiling faces and hands waving a cheery "hello."

The preschool cooperative has been an amazing resource for me. I feel very lucky to be part of the team organizing the future of the school. It has pushed me to learn more about Waldorf, which in turn has pushed me to be more present in mothering. It has made me even more grateful for the joys and challenges of raising a child, and the fulfillment motherhood has brought to my life.

Comments

[Blayne]

I love the ideas in this post, and though I only have one child, a nine-month old, I bbysit several older ones and can completely see how they would enjoy the "days." I too struggle with being present, a side-effect of being a professional multi-tasker.

Anyway, I love your blog and watching what you make!

[Emilie]

Bravo! Well said and I appreciate you not editing yourself....I feel no one should ever have to do that.
Kudos! =)

[liza]

hey, erin! thought i'd stop by... we must be sharing a brain! my kids are on their way tomorrow to spend the day at the montessori school in nobleboro, the last step in a very big shift in education for them, but not different from what we do at home, they should transition smoothly. i'd love to hear more about the preschool and also maybe share some knowledge about goats/ chickens/ducks, all of which we have or had. we are placing an order for chicks, i think, so if you want in...
also as spring approaches i'm planning on spending some time at 'morning dew farm' w/ our friends brendan and brady. they have a csa and are great teachers for the big and little where farming is concerned.
let's chat...

[Bobbi]

i'm so happy about you getting ducks and maybe goats that i just teared up. silly me, but i love goats and baby ducks!!! chickens not so much, but i can learn to love them too. i very much approve of you moving your television. 30 of our cable channels have gone away (the cable company doesn't even know why, they are just static) and i find myself never watching the tv unless it's the morning news on in the background. i don't even miss it. i'm trying to convince my parents to give up the cable now.

[Sarah]

This is such an important post and it is all so true. When my children were younger, we had "porridge day" "golden porridge day" "bread day" "soup day" --life defined by snacks and activities. It made such a difference in all of our lives.

Now that my girls are older, N and I have to constantly remember the media issue. While we don't have television, we do have wireless laptops :). We try very hard to keep our laptopping to the hours when they are not around. If we want them to grow up free of media and electronics, we have to lead. While our children our older, they still imitate.

Being truly present for our children is the inner work of parenting. It will serve us well forever! Best wishes on your journey.

[Kelly]

I loved this post and am glad you did not change it. I feel like I have been making many of the same discoveries/revalations lately as well, and it's really encouraging and inspring to hear others in the same boat. Thank you!

[Denise Ridgway]

what a wonderful post, a post to make me de-lurk .. I adore your blog, found it very recently.
Thanks you for such sharing, I feel very honoured.
Denise - in the UK
x

[Heather W]

Erin such a great post. Raw emotion and words from a mother were exactly what I needed today! Your post touched me and inspiried me to do the same things. They are things I have been thinking about but have not put into action yet...(no computer time when my boys are awake, limiting tv time, allowing them to help me more).

Thank you for not editing. =)

[Julia]

Last week I stumbled upon your blog and have had a couple of lurks to date. I was so surprised to see the cover of the book I am currently reading photographed on this post. It drew me in and I agree with your views on parenting. It's such a short time in our lives that our children will want to be by our side day and night and it's wonderful to have found a philosophy that nurtures it. Your weekly routine chart is exactly what I've been thinking about. Thanks for moving me forward in this direction.

[Alicia A.]

You're a sweet person and a great mama.

[Dawn]

This was a wonderful post. I appreciate that you shared your heart on this matter. We love Waldorf ideas in our house for many of the same reasons. I love having a rhythm my day. I wish I would have found these ideas when my kids were as young as your daughter is. She's a lucky little girl to have such loving and conscientious parents.

[kirsten]

your post has touched something in me...maybe a little guilt...i too am a multi-tasker who has a billion things to do. i feel like i try to squeeze everything in all at once. my 14 month old watches tv, not a lot, but enough. i find it has been my way to occupy him while i "get things done".

i work 4 days a week, in child care looking after 3-5 year olds. i come home and am tired. i want to parent mindfully. i want to be pesent in the moment. i have things to improve on. i am learning constantly.

thank you for sharing your experience. nice to know i am not alone, nice to know we can evolve and grow as mama's.

take care.

[Joanna Silva]

I didn't think it was mushy at all! I think we all intrinsically know where we want be and how we need to get there, in our personal lives, as parents, as partners and in our community and sometimes it just needs to be said out loud, or written! And you did just that- beautifully!

[Nichole]

Thoughtful post. I really like the idea about caring for chickens and goats, hopefully we will be able to do this some day as well.

[tava]

I am reading that book too- and trying to find my way with my 8 month old. I feel drawn to the Waldorf way also. My husband and I have always watched a lot of tv so we are thinking of canceling cable and trying to find other ways to "veg out" at night. I would love to hear more about how she helps in your work. She's so sweet and it looks like she has a wonderful, thoughtful mama.

[Krista]

Amen to all of that! Totally reading this post to my husband tonight, I've been lobbying to move the TV out of the livingroom and having less computer time myself, for the same reasons as you, for a while. Maybe this will help to back me up! Thanks for the awesome post.

[amy]

I really enjoyed this post. Thanks for your candor.

[QALBALLAH]

"I don't want her to think the computer is more important than she is."

Oh come on; they have to learn it *sometime*. Kidding kidding

:P

[Kidletsmum]

I love goats. I haven't figured out how to keep them in a small apartment in a big city in central Anatolia, but when I do, we'll have goats as well.
We're going the unschooling route, mildly informed by some Waldorf ideas.
Like you, our television is not a focal point, we have no cable, and rarely watch. We're a reading household and think the Kidlet and her brother will learn that best through observing us.
I do have to cut down on computer time, though... my two year old asks me if I'm writing on the 'byog' every time I sit down at it. Oops...

[amy h]

These are good ideas. Since I had my second child, I have been struggling to bring some structure back to our house!

We don't have a TV in our family/living room, and I love it! When people visit, we visit with each other, we don't just all stare at the TV together. And there isn't as much TV temptation for my daughter. She still asks to watch TV some, but I know it would be worse if the TV were in our daily living space.

[Sandra-MyInspiredHeart]

What a great post! It is so exciting when we realize that children learn so much with just simple, normal, day to day activities. The simplicity also enables us as parents to focus on being present in every moment and not so distracted by all the extras. I love our simple life and the simpleness of my children's lives. And, as for the chickens...go for it! We bought 24 chickens 2 years ago and we have really enjoyed them. The kids love them...and learn so much in the process.

[sarah]

I am the mama of three girls (4, 6, 8) living in Minnesota, and I enjoy your blog so much! I especially want to chime in after reading today's post. Our Waldorf community has inspired me and transformed my whole family in countless, joyful ways!

I just finished up assisting in my middle-daughter's Waldorf Kindergarten class today. We took a long walk through the woods with the children (5- and 6-year-olds)--we listened to Brother Wind spreading Mother Earth's news that Spring is near. We paused so the children could sense the root children moving about under our feet as they prepare for Spring. We sang and sang. It was so joyful! (And a far cry from what most schools are doing with their wee Kindergarten children.) Now that my oldest is in 2nd grade, my husband and I are overwhelmed at the beauty in the grades work too. It only grows in inspiration for us.

Carrying Waldorf ways into our home has brought peace and thoughtfulness, true beauty, to our lives in ways that we didn't even know were missing. The candle before dinner. Quiet afternoons spent stitching odds and ends for their dolls. Playing fairies with silks and handknit crowns. Laughing and talking with each other, without the constructs of overbearing media. For us the Waldorf community has opened up a group of friends who share our love of simpler ways, our interest in healthful foods and handwork, and reverence for childhood.

You are already creating such a loving home for your little one. I imagine that the Rainbow Bridge will only enhance that. As the years move along, and she won't hang on so tight, you will have created peaceful ways to share time together. (Now it takes me longer to cook when I don't have my little helpers!)

Thank you for your beautiful blog. I so enjoy reading it!

[Emilie]

Amen sister! Another Waldorf loving mama here :). I love being able to learn about and connect with other mothers who share the same parenting values as I do, even if I never get to meet them in real life. Thank you for not editing this post...it's true and from the heart, and I love that.

I've been struggling with the TV issue as well. Though we don't let our son watch TV, we do have it placed center stage in our living room. We also watch Netflix at night after the little guy goes to bed. We don't have a big enough house to move it to another room, but you've inspired me to make a pretty curtin or something to make it less of a main focal point in our living room.

[Anna]

What an excellent post!
We have chickens and LOVE them. This Summer, when we move to our new house in the country, we will be adding more chickens, a couple ducks, goats, a sheep or two and maybe a pig.
I need to add the Rainbow Bridge book to my list of "must reads".

[Berlinswhimsy]

Lovely post and I'm glad you didn't edit it. I am very guilty of that one (writing in the heat of the moment and then taking all the heat out of it). Thank you---it's a good reminder.

I also lean heavily towards the Waldorf type of education and parenting, though like you, I am leery of labels and their confines.

To this day, I continue to struggle with being present in my parenting. When my "precocious" daughter continues to ask questions and request things like, "Can we go buy some chickens today?" and, "Let's have a picnic!" in the middle of winter, I struggle with patience and letting go a bit.

And also to this day, my children still enjoy routines (and they are 9 and 11). When we start to greatly diverge from our routines all h*ll seems to break out! I think to a certain degree, routines are very helpful for children.

Great post!

[Jenn]

What a wonderful post. I've just started to investigate Waldorf education, and was dissapointed to find that the nearest Waldorf school is more than an hour away. I had sort of given up on the idea but your post has made me realize that I can take this on on my own - my son's education may not be at a Waldorf school, but that need not stop us from bringing the principals into our home.

Thanks!

[Melissa]

Erin, I must say that your blog is my absolute favorite to read. You are so inspiring! Thank you for leaving this post "as is." I don't think there is anything more important than a beautiful childhood. I'm going to have to buy a copy of this book. Thanks again!

[Caren]

I love this post! I don't think it's too emotional at all! I haven't read that book, but You Are Your Child's First Teacher is a GREAT into to Waldorf parenting philosophy. I love love love it, and have been meaning to dig into BtheRB next. Another book we love in our family is All Year Round, which really helps us celebrate the seasons. And I recommend Seven Times the Sun, which helps us bring rhythm to our days. I'd be thrilled if you check out my blog when you have a chance... My most recent three posts are about celebrating Easter (in a Waldorf-y sort of way), creative play and wooden toys, and living TV-free! I am always encouraged by the journeys of other mamas. Your blog is an inspiration to me!

[shelley caskey]

what a beautiful post, erin. your words and thoughts resonated deeply with me. we are also a waldorf family, thriving on rhythm. and trying to make all of our daily endeavors worthy of imitation. keeping the beauty and reverence of childhood present in our lives each day...

[periwinkle]

You have really set me thinking here-- my 3 yr old has been acting up a lot lately and after reading this I think that now I know what the problem might be.. Without going into too much detail. Thank you for opening my eyes.
Take care
Lisa x

[Knitsational]

What an inspirational post! You have completely inspired me to be more present with my own girls. You have such a beautiful blog. I thoroughly enjoy reading it. Oh, and how did your gf bread turn out? The only gf bread I make anymore is focaccia. It's just so fustrating. And when you're making gf bread, flat is good!

[Kari (klynne)]

Thanks for posting this Erin! It gave me, like all of the other mothers, a moment of serious reflection. Being pg and sahming in the city makes me feel like there is so much chaos in my mothering. As of lately I've not been mindful or totally present like I have been... Anyways, thank you for the inspiring/thought provoking post. Kari

[Lizz]

When I came to Waldorf I felt I had come home!

[emily]

of course! (so glad you left it as is.)

[Grace]

I'm so glad to see you write about this. It's hard to find your way as a parent in a world that moves too fast. I just want to say "good for you" about everything you're doing here. xoxox

PS: The book "Heaven on Earth" by Sharifa Oppenheimer is also really good ... it's like an updated and more "practical" version of "You are your child's first teacher". (Which I also really love, but in different ways.)

[Angel FUnk]

Thanks for posting this! I read it when you first posted it and am just now getting around to commenting.

The Waldorf school in my community is very expensive and out of our range financially but I do love the concept of it and do a lot of crafting Waldorf style with my 3 year old son.

[martha]

I have come across your blog a few different times, and I wanted to say that I love how you are trying to live sustainably. also, this post really connected with me. We try to have a calm peaceful environment for our boys and the Waldorf philosophies really seem to go well with that sort of lifestyle.

[Deirdre]

Just wanted to say thanks for this post. I followed a similar idea (thanks to one of my favorite books I see on your sidebar: You are Your Child's First Teacher---LOVE it) with my first...but it has been easy to let the oldest child's schedule/agenda set the week for all of us and have my toddler just follow along. Definitely plan to create our own weekly schedule with his input. Thanks so much for the reminder (and I loved your "About Me"---would love to see more of your house!).