A Break

I love writing. I especially adore sharing my thoughts, sewing projects, dilemmas, and daily bits of our lives with you all. But with the warmer weather arriving, I'm feeling a need to escape from this lovely community online. The internet is an amazing resource; one I feel I often take for granted. I have limited my computer time in the past month to only when the little one is sleeping. But it still feels like too much. I'm in a place right now where I need to change my pace. I need to enjoy being outside, meeting new people whom I can actually have coffee with (although I treasure each and every online friendship I have made), learning more by reading books and by actually doing, and enjoying life by living in the moment.

I'm feeling a deep need to connect with the land, nature, our food, our community, our family, and living as simply as possible. Many health issues have emerged in the past month, and I feel I need to slow my life down, find out what's causing my body to be out of balance, and take care of myself. Every time I turn the computer on, I feel my body tensing up while thinking "I have so much to do in such little time." My precious alone time is also when I get caught up with house chores, do all of my sewing, and spend time with Stephen. It leaves little, if any, time for me to do something for myself.

Mostly it's about the hours I feel are lost each day. I will never get those hours back. There are gardens to be pruned, seedlings to plant, cold frames to construct, chicken coops to build, trees to clear, decks to finish, rooms to paint, and books to read. The weather is glorious, and the little one and I have been spending every free second outside.

There is such a great community here. I don't want to stop being a part of that, but I feel I need to slow down for a moment. Up until the last few days of warmer weather I hadn't given this a thought. Maybe it's my inner "back-to-the-land" passion surfacing. Or maybe it's simply because I want to live a slower paced life, and the internet is as fast paced as it gets. Or maybe it just feels like there is too much on my list right now with getting our little homestead ready for the spring.

So I'm taking a computer break. I'll be checking in briefly with my Etsy shop daily, possibly uploading photos every couple of days to flickr, and you might just hear from me once a week or so. Right now, in this moment, I need to live life fully, and for me that means turning the computer off. Maybe next week I will desperately need to write here regularly again. There's no telling. So I'm just following my instincts and hoping you all will understand and still check in every once in a while.

It's been said before that I can't sleep unless I write. So I think my writing will take a slower pace and quietly be written in a journal. I appreciate having this space to record the daily details of our lives, and would hate to become out of touch with that. So please do not feel that this is the end of Bluebirdbaby! Not so at all! Think of it more like a short vacation...

Be well, my friends. Thank you for being here. See you soon.

Comments

[natasha s]

oh no,I shall miss my daily read:0(
I completely understand though.I spend way too much time on the computer and I was just telling myself last night that I need to cut it down.It looks like you have a great outdoors there too.We have a postage stamp sized back yard so it is quickly 'discovered'.My babes would love that garden path of yours.We had chickens when we lived in CT,so much fun.
take care,
Natasha
x

[TD wool design]

you are a wise woman :) this www is wonderful for so many things, but each and every second in your real life is so much more valuable. enjoy.

[Emilie]

I conquer.....enjoy your time and all it has to offer. :)

[Heather W.]

good for you Erin!

[Stacey]

do what you need to do. after all this online community is about supporting each other and our lives. Go get muddy!

[Krista]

Every single word here resonates with me on the deepest level -- and some. You've said everything I was trying to say in my most recent post

http://bigandlittle.typepad.com/blog/2008/04/slowly-steadyil.html

but lacked the time to so articulately lay it out like this! Beautifully said, as always. Truly, enjoy your time in the real world, it's beckoning to you.... I do believe there is a place in our lives for this Internet community, but putting it in its *proper* place is so essential. And a very tricky thing to do.
We'll see you when we see you. Enjoy!

[Grace]

I know exactly where you're coming from. I just did the same thing, obviously! And I think there are others who are feeling the same way right now. xoxox

[kate]

I too will miss my daily read, first thing I click on your link. But, you have through this post renewed a sense of desire to live in myself as well! I slow down, relax, feel the earth, be a part of it. And we can. So for now goodbye and take care. I will keep checking in, but do enjoy your spring, get out and breathe in and work and play. love you, take care!!

[asti]

Absolutely ! All you have written has struck a major chord with me too. I find it hard not to get sucked in...it's sort of all or nothing. That middle way is tricky and hard to find. Enjoy all the wonderful things you have to do, sounds fantastic from where I'm sitting..:)

[Kelly]

Such beautiful words. And so very wise too.

[lina]

Enjoy your break Erin. I've been feeling the same way of late too.

[emily]

It's funny, b/c I just happily found your blog yesterday! But I know exactly what you mean. I've been planning a break from the computer for a couple of months this summer, and I'm really looking forward to it. Enjoy the world!

[gwen]

enjoy your break. I will miss your beautiful pictures. I check in every day to see what new ones you have added. you are also a wonderful writer. I once lived in NH and miss it terribly. your blog reminds me of "home". thank you

[Elizabeth]

you have been posting every day for quite some time. When you return you might consider posting less, perhaps every other day or even once a week...be well.

[Kate]

Good choice. I have been feeling the same sort of shift here as well and I don't have half the to-do list that you seem to have. I just can't justify being in front of the computer when the weather is as glorious as it has been.
Be Well, enjoy your break!

[periwinkle]

I so agree with you about slowing down and enjoying family and nature. Have a lovely break.
Lisa x

[Knitsational]

Enjoy your vacation! You deserve it.

[Sheila]

You will be missed but find your balance and enjoy the moment!!! And don't forget to breathe!!!!

[Gypsy]

An excellent idea - good luck with this - I too feel that I miss so many hours 'playing' at my addiction to blogging and to cramming my head with information!

[Ravenhill]

I hope you are having a wonderful break. I will miss the frequent visits I have been taking to your wonderful blog. I have had many thoughts in this direction myself...
xxx Emily

[Lizz]

Oh yes, so necessary!

Enjoy yourself.

[melissa]

sounds very smart to me! hope you enjoy having a bit more time outside and enjoying the spring. i need to take do this too!

[Melissa!]

I completely and entirely agree! Brief history, we moved our computer from our detached studio to our kitchen area - we have middle schoolers AND I could read my email as they come in...I know, pathetic ;)
For quite some time I spent a lot of my time blogging, which I love - writing is a passion of mine and I enjoy reading my manymany favorite blogs (as well as discovery manymany more!)...then our computer crashed and you know what, it has been a blessing! While I haven't blogged since January (the whole entire truth? Mine & my oldest daughter's digital cameras met their fate when they both were exposed to water - lovely, huh!) and miss the connection I had with family & friends (both old & new), I have become accustomed to my once a day computer usage at my sister's and it feels quite liberating. I would dwindle away hours & hours sitting at the computer and wonder where all the time went! So far I've read quite a few books, cleaned out closets & cupboards, got back into my work-out regime and muchmuch more! I, too, have returned to writing in my journal where I'm not tempted to take a peek at other blogs nor do I have to go through the process of chosing pictures, etc! And while I do miss posting on my blog, I feel liberated at the same time.

Hopefully I've learned to pace myself better when our new computer moves in!

Enjoy your break!