Rhythm and Routine

I'm so glad you found the last post helpful! I think it would have been easier for me to write a book! Condensing so many thoughts into one post is tough. I wanted to let you know that I am replying to your comments in the comment section themselves, so please check back for a response.

Also, I wanted to add that keeping toys in the room most used by the family is very helpful. We use low shelves (never taller than the little one) and put everything in baskets. It's helpful to have a large basket to collect all the toys that are out after a day of play, and bringing them to each shelf to put in their appropriate smaller baskets. Every month I go through the little one's toys and move things upstairs and bring others down. Even little things seem to add up (she is often given many gifts) and we run out of space. Her bedroom is not being used at the moment, so we are storing most of the toys she doesn't use on a daily basis up there.

Many people asked to see a little glimpse at our daily/weekly rhythms. I swear, this is the one thing that keeps us going. I found a rhythm that worked well for both of us when she was a little under a year old. After the divorce, the rhythm changed because she was not with me everyday, and now we are finally (after a year!) settling into a rhythm that works. It takes a lot of work and preparation on my part, but the days flow so much smoother that I don't mind one bit. I literally jump out of bed in the morning excited for another day of parenting! We are just having so much fun! So hopefully if any of you out there are stuck in a rut, creating a consistent daily and weekly rhythm could help tremendously! So this is a lot of information, but hopefully it won't be too much...

So here's a glimpse of our weekly rhythm ::

Monday :: school

Tuesday :: school

Wednesday :: long nature walk/hike, craft day

Thursday :: baking day

Friday :: soup day

Saturday :: painting day

These daily activities stay the same week after week. Young children thrive on repetition (everything from reading books multiple times to eating the same foods day after day) and having this rhythm week after week is very calming. Elisabeth does not understand days of the week, but she understands when "baking day" is. She knows that "painting day" is on the day Sasa is home from work, so we all can paint together. She knows "soup day" is after our Waldorf school time. And that must be so comforting to a little one!

Here's a glimpse of our daily rhythm. Transitions and activities are usually helped with the addition of a song (either spontaneously made up, or one we always use. I'll include a couple). I'll just choose baking day as an example ::

Wake up :: I sing a good morning song to her when she climbs into bed with us. It helps start the day on a cheerful note.

Breakfast :: She typically helps, but sometimes is content playing. I always give her the option of helping and set out her cutting board or mixing bowls.

Clean-up :: She helps or has free play while I clean.

Baking :: After the kitchen is tidy, she sits at her baking table and we look at all our ingredients. I pre-measure ingredients because she loses interest pretty quickly when doing it herself. When she's older I will start having her measure things out. We mix, stir, pour, and then bake. She does everything herself, usually with little help from me. She uses mini bowls, mini spoons, etc. which help little hands. After everything is in the oven, we clean up. I usually put a big enamel tub on her table with soapy warm water and a dishcloth. I'll put the smaller things in her tub and she can help wash. There is another basin for rinse water, and finally the towel to dry the dishes. She usually helps do this while I clean the larger items in the big sink. After we are set, we grab our brooms and sweep the floor. She loves to use her dustpan, so I always let her do this part.

Snack :: We eat our yummy baked goods!

Outside nature walk :: We take a short nature walk (about a mile) where I encourage her to walk. We pay close attention to the natural world around us and always bring her little basket (we got ours locally, but you can find them here) for collecting treasures. I've always made it a point to be super observant of everything around us, ever since she was a little baby. I'd point out ladybugs or pretty leaves, and now she does the same! She gets so excited by a chestnut or pinecone. We collect our treasures, then head home to put them on our treasure table by the door.

Lunch :: Sasa comes home for lunch everyday, so the little one and I typically prepare lunch prior to his arrival. She helps chop veggies and cheese, then goes to play while I finish up. We eat and then go outside for some more play.

Quite time :: After lunch is quiet time. She usually lasts for 30-45 minutes of quiet play. She does not like to be still, so we compromised and just have some low energy activities. I can sometimes read on the couch while she plays, but mostly we read together snuggled under a blanket.

In town trip :: We take the time in the mid-afternoon to get out and go for another walk and a trip to the co-op. We get our food for dinner and return home.

Dinner prep :: Dinner usually takes longer to prep and I am trying to start around 3:30 so it is all done by the time Sasa gets home from work. The little one likes to play during this time, or help cook.

Dinner :: The little one helps set the table and we all sit down to eat. We light our special meal candle while singing:

Here is a spark of father sun's light

see how it shines so warm and so bright

so bright, so bright

so warm and so bright.

We sing our blessing on our meal:

Earth who gives to us this food

sun who makes it ripe and good

dear sun, dear Earth by you we live

our loving thanks to you we give.

Then we eat. Usually we go around the table and say what the favorite part of our day was, or what we're thankful for. Sometimes the little one doesn't want to sit at the table and would rather start sweeping the room while we finish up. And that's okay too.

The candle is carried upstairs and placed by her bed. We brush our teeth, wash our face, and get jammies on. After a few books, it's lights out. We say our evening verse ::

The evening is coming.

The sun sinks to rest.

The birds are all flying

straight home to their nests.

"Caw, caw," says the crow

it's time little children

were going to bed.

Here comes the pony.

His work is all done.

Down through the meadow

he takes a good run.

Up go his heels,

and down goes his head.

It's time little children

were going to bed.

The candle is snuffed. Songs are sung, and if it's a special night she gets a "made up" story by either Sasa or I. (Sasa tells the best stories ever!) I stay in her (our!) room until she's asleep, then come downstairs. This is the time I typically blog and plan the next day.

The key to making this work is including the children in everything. The little one has always been the type of child who required attention at all times. I can't tell you how many times a day she would ask Sasa or I to play with her. She even just wanted us watching her. It was exhausting and Sasa and I were frazzled. With this rhythm, there is no time for "down time" where she and I are sitting around with undirected energy. And I think energy is really the key. To always have a purpose, whether it's cooking, cleaning, knitting, playing, reading...even energy in doing nothing! The little one picks up on it so much. 

If you're concerned that your daily tasks will take much longer with the help of young children, think of it like this...I go about my day as a mother and a teacher. I am constantly teaching the little one about life and how we live, while giving her lots of love and attention at the same time. Sure, she might make chores take longer or require some extra clean up from me, but it's so worth it! We spend our day together, constantly learning from each other by doing everyday things.

Last week after our morning of baking, she put the cookies in the oven, looked up at me and said, "Mama, can I go play now?" I honestly never, ever thought those words would ever come out of her mouth. I said, "Yes sweetie, you can play while mama cleans up." And she replied with, "Oh good! You clean up and I'll play, then we'll go for our walk." My heart just melted and I felt so good about what we were doing!

Sasa and I are in the middle of creating a circle time for the morning, right after breakfast and before he goes to work. There will be verses, songs, finger plays, etc. It will bring us all together to connect before a day of activities. Also, I am working on a puppet show a week for the little one, and am currently trying to make some Waldorf puppets. Everyday is certainly different and doesn't always go as planned, but having a base is so essential!

I hope this provides a starting point for some people! If you have any questions, don't hesitate to e-mail me!!

Comments

[Katie]

No questions, but I just wanted to thank you for doing this series this week! We have needed this desperately in our home, and seeing how you have your days laid out really helps me to get an idea of how I would like our weekly rhythm to go. So wonderful!

[Colleen]

Just when I thought your last post was the best, you write this one that is even better than the last --- you really should write a book on the subject. Your words remind me why I am doing this myself. Thank you.

[Julie Alvarez]

Your day sounds pretty much EXACTLY like our days were until this year when Zoe started kinder! She is four now. She goes there everyday, so week days are a lot different now. But even with so much time separate, we keep all the routines while we are together. She still naps willingly on weekends (she does so at school too), we prepare meals together, we bake, we read, we have bedtime ritual since she was born, etc. I loved this post!
By the way, I don't mean to be nosy, but since you commented on this: are you and Sasa divorced but living together? How did this affect the family? (Please, tell me if I am out of line here...)

[Caren]

Oh, Erin, these posts are speaking right to my heart. I am so grateful for you, your sweet family, and your BLOG! Thanks for some fresh inspiration--I need it right now! I so wish we lived closer to you, and Little C and I could come over for baking day!

We have been working on bringing more rhythm and ritual to our daily lives, and this morning we had a family breakfast in which we lit a candle, said some thank-you prayers, and shared intentions for the day. It was so great! I love how much these simple acts of ritual can ground the day in it's true sacred possibility!

[Chelsea]

I so second the toys in a main living space, and all at reachable level. We actually live in an apartment that is essentially one room, so we don't have much of a choice, but it makes all the difference for me to be working in the same room with everything I need at hand and for him to be comfortable moving about the space that has his things in it, all where he can access them on his own. I love the idea of a weekly puppet show - that sounds like so much fun to be planning out! +Chelsea

[Meg]

Once again, great post! So great to hear someone else's daily routine. I strive for this for my little ones but i can't help letting life get in the way (phone calls to return, appts. to set up, car to get repaired, laundry, etc) that their daily routine quickly gets the shaft and they 'fend for themselves' playing while i do house management stuff. Wondered how you balance all the other 'non-kid' stuff? I think my struggle is I am getting no breaks. None. Husband working all hours of the day and into the night and weekends too. I am slightly burnt out and seeing this is inspiring. I still need me time, but if i can structure our days even more, i will have less of that zero energy sitting on the floor blank stare while they whine for me to help with this or that and more. It's just hard to get the get-up and go when I just want to sit and have mommy time!But it is so worth it cause a little time invested in setting up an activity pays off and then there is a whole lot less whining.

[stephanie]

erin

what a wonderful gift you have! i know this blog is helping countless families. for sure you are a daily dose of inspiration for me. i gave you a shout out on my blog yesterday and hope it brings some of my friends to yours.

stephanie

[Olivia Jean]

I, like the others, am also inspired. I want more routine for our days. Since I work during the day, I think getting our evenings more organized would help calm our lives significantly!

Thanks :) Maybe I'll post my trial and error on my blog too....:)

[mandy]

Thank you for sharing what your daily rhythms are like. We just moved and had a second baby and many of our old rhythms just dodn't fit anymore. Now the littlest is about two and a half months and we are starting to find rhythms again. Thank you for taking the time to put together what works for your family. It is inspiring me to be a bit more intentional with our daily doings.

[Alexis]

Erin, this has got to be the best and most inspiring post yet....
I have been dealing with my three little ones 3,2, and 6 month's and knowing that something needed to change for the better before I crack... But I didn't know where to start. You have spoken to my heart's call for creating a harmonious and smooth rhythm. Thank-you again for a fabulous post.

[Silvia]

I always doubt myself as a mother if I'm doing good enough for my little one, then I read posts like these where I find out that a day of a mom I really esteem looks pretty much like our one, full of activities and "eyes wide open" on noticing all around us ... so I feel I'm on the right track! Thank you for sharing and for making me feel better.

[Gigia]

My little girl, she is 6 now, went to a Steiner kinder garden for three years here in Switzerland and, when I read your post, it reminded me so many things. I will share with you the song the children sing here in french, in Steiner kinder garden, before having their meat. It is quite the same that you sing at home !

"Terre qui nous a donné,
Soleil qui fait murir le blé,
Chère Terre, Cher Soleil,
Jamais je ne vous oublierai"

Thank you for your post, we learn so many things !

[Julie]

Such a thoughtful routine with your little one. Thanks for giving us a peek into your day. So many wonderful ideas!

[Daniel]

Such a beautiful routine. And I love the food blessing you use. I think I may adopt this myself.

[robina]

thank you so much for this. seeing little glimspes into other people's days -- even the most "mundane" stuff -- is why i enjoy blogging and reading in the first place. and this is so useful to boot! i am a big believer in routine and rhythm with little ones but being in the first trimester has really thrown me for a loop and our rhythm has dropped off a bit. my goal is to have things working really beautifully again before the next little one is here, so this gives me some ideas. thanks!

[sara]

Thanks for sharing this. I was writing down the before bed time verse and I was wondering if you might have left out a sentence right after it says Caw says the crow? I am wondering because it seems to rhyme all the way through except at this part- maybe I am just not getting into the right timing of saying it aloud.

[Bluebirdbaby]

Sara :: Nope! Thats how it is. It does sound like something is missing, but that is how it came to us. You could always make something up and fit it in there too!!

[Angela]

Thanks for sharing the order of your days and weeks. I always love seeing how different families form natural rhythms to their home lives. Sounds like a truly blessed childhood for Elizabeth to be experiencing.

[Bluebirdbaby]

Thanks Angela! Seeing the results in her behavior has made me believe that this is the best possible thing I could be doing for her, so it feels good!