Bluebirdbaby

Indefinite Hiatus

Well, guess who got bit with the music bug again? Yup, that would be me. Being a former musician, who was completely and totally immersed in music until the birth of the little one (my last gig was two weeks before the birth!), I knew there would come a time when I would long to pick up the trumpet again. My life has been spent putting every single ounce of energy I have into one key interest at a time. Those interests would shift now and again, but music has been one that I've always been incredibly passionate about. I have never felt more myself than when I have my trumpet in my hands.

It's been hard for me to "get back into it" solely because of the reason that motherhood takes up a tremendous amount of energy and time. I couldn't imagine trying to do both; that's just how "into it" I get when music is in my life. But I've been feeling the shift for more than a month. (Okay, I admit...seeing a chick trumpet player at the Ani Difranco concert in January was just so much motivation.) But trying to figure out how to be both a mother and a musician is still something I've yet to solve. My idea of being a musician entails hours of practice a day, playing gigs, taking lessons and classes to finish my degree (almost there...), and so much more. But instead of getting overwhelmed and realizing that I can't quite make it back to school, I've decided to just continue lessons and put in as much practice as I can. Hopefully, gigs will soon follow.

So, with the way my mind works, I have to close the shop for an indefinite period. I'll finish up the custom orders I have and take any orders that arrive before Saturday, when the shop will officially close until further notice. It's nearly impossible for me to fathom running a shop and getting back into music at the same time. I've also toyed with the idea of getting a part time job this summer, so the little one can spend time with other children at another mama's house while I get some much needed social interaction with people actually my own age. I'm realizing that we're both at a point where this would be benificial.

I apologize if it appears that this has come from out of the blue. I guess I've been thinking about it for a while, but when the trumpet emerged today and those first few warm-up notes were played, I knew I had to do everything I could to put my all into it. Music is a huge part of me that has been dormant for so many months. I'm glad my interest in music has sparked again and I look forward to seeing what will become of it. Hopefully, you will too.

Being A Mother

(Photo from last Mother's Day)

Motherhood was never something I saw in my immediate future. My plan was to adopt in my late thirties, thinking I'd be this very independent gal who traveled all over the world touring (with a band) and never really had time to settle. So when I found myself married and pregnant in my early twenties, that future that I had envisioned since childhood suddenly broke into a million tiny pieces and floated away. But I was okay with that. I knew motherhood would open up a whole new world of possibilities.

I didn't realize that with becoming a mother, the identity I had always known, the person I had become, would suddenly disappear as soon as my screaming daughter was placed on my chest after a long and painful birth at home. The person I had grown accustomed to, who I had finally learned to accept and found comfort in, was suddenly a sleep-deprived, lactating, worried, anxious woman who now had an added appendage that was never there before. It took months to grow into my role as a mother. It wasn't love at first sight and there were many rough times before I could really settle into my new role. I often found myself longing for the person I was before.

But with all the evolving and adapting over the last 19 months, I will say that I wouldn't change a thing. The person I have become, who I have grown into and grown to love, is way more interesting, insightful, creative, loving, and compassionate than the person I was before. To have the honor of spending everyday with this marvelous, captivating, and amazing little person who has so much to offer the world, is a remarkable gift. I find great joy in being her mother and the gift of motherhood is something I will be forever thankful for.

I hope you enjoyed Mother's Day. See you around...

Blue

Apparently it's a blue-sky kind of week. The weather has been gorgeous and we've been enjoying every second of it. We only have a couple of weeks until the black flies come out, and then we're stuck inside again. Such a short window to enjoy the lovely weather!

Stephen took the day off to work on our deck. The floor is almost finished, then we'll be working on the railing. Finally, a screened room will be added and stairs that lead down to the ground. We think a hot tub would look fabulous up there in the future...

We've discovered Otay is definitely an outdoor cat. She whines and meows and jumps all over you until you open the door to let her out. She's just like a dog and will chase us all over the yard, comes when we call her, and digs large holes in the garden. Oh, and the sandbox...she thinks that is the best thing ever.

The little one has requested that every minute be spent outside, evident from the tantrums she displays as I try to get her in for lunch and dinner. She'd happily play outside until the sun went down, and I admit to expending a great deal of energy chasing her all over the yard, mostly trying to steer her clear of the road. But we have been enjoying ourselves. We've been walking everyday down the road to see the horses, chickens, tractors, and our friend "Mamee's" house. There are buds on the trees and flowers popping up everywhere.

This internet break has done me good. I've enjoyed it and do not intend to stop. I think I'll say to expect random posting for a while. I'm just enjoying everything that's been going on here. Books have been read, seedlings have been ordered, gardens have been prepared, flower beds have been raked and weeded, we've baked everyday, Stephen and I have been enjoying our quiet time reading at night, but mostly I feel like there is a certain "frantic" feeling that has disappeared. Trying to check e-mails, upload pictures, etc. all while multi-tasking left me stressed and frazzled. It's allowed me to be more present with myself and the little one. I almost wish we were back in the computer-less age.

As the little one and I were raking the garden yesterday I began to think of my mother. We had beautiful flower beds around our house growing up. We were always outside gardening or inside baking. I was trying to imagine how much of that would have been lost if we had a computer in our living room. How would I have felt if my mother was online instead of getting her hands dirty in the garden? (And this is in no way said to make anyone feel bad about their computer usage! It's just my feelings about how my time is spent.) Those times spent gardening and baking are some of my fondest memories. I want to make sure the little one has that too.

I have two new things to introduce to the shop, and while I felt I was under a time crunch to do so, I am just taking it easy. I'm enjoying the orders coming in and spending whatever time is needed in my little green room. I've made a goal of dressing the little one in only handmade this summer, so I'm excited to get working on some special things for her. Of course, I'll share some finished pieces here in the future.

So now I'm off to get some reading done in the sun on our half-finished porch before the little one wakes up from her nap. Enjoy your week! I hope you're sky will be as blue as ours.

A Break

I love writing. I especially adore sharing my thoughts, sewing projects, dilemmas, and daily bits of our lives with you all. But with the warmer weather arriving, I'm feeling a need to escape from this lovely community online. The internet is an amazing resource; one I feel I often take for granted. I have limited my computer time in the past month to only when the little one is sleeping. But it still feels like too much. I'm in a place right now where I need to change my pace. I need to enjoy being outside, meeting new people whom I can actually have coffee with (although I treasure each and every online friendship I have made), learning more by reading books and by actually doing, and enjoying life by living in the moment.

I'm feeling a deep need to connect with the land, nature, our food, our community, our family, and living as simply as possible. Many health issues have emerged in the past month, and I feel I need to slow my life down, find out what's causing my body to be out of balance, and take care of myself. Every time I turn the computer on, I feel my body tensing up while thinking "I have so much to do in such little time." My precious alone time is also when I get caught up with house chores, do all of my sewing, and spend time with Stephen. It leaves little, if any, time for me to do something for myself.

Mostly it's about the hours I feel are lost each day. I will never get those hours back. There are gardens to be pruned, seedlings to plant, cold frames to construct, chicken coops to build, trees to clear, decks to finish, rooms to paint, and books to read. The weather is glorious, and the little one and I have been spending every free second outside.

There is such a great community here. I don't want to stop being a part of that, but I feel I need to slow down for a moment. Up until the last few days of warmer weather I hadn't given this a thought. Maybe it's my inner "back-to-the-land" passion surfacing. Or maybe it's simply because I want to live a slower paced life, and the internet is as fast paced as it gets. Or maybe it just feels like there is too much on my list right now with getting our little homestead ready for the spring.

So I'm taking a computer break. I'll be checking in briefly with my Etsy shop daily, possibly uploading photos every couple of days to flickr, and you might just hear from me once a week or so. Right now, in this moment, I need to live life fully, and for me that means turning the computer off. Maybe next week I will desperately need to write here regularly again. There's no telling. So I'm just following my instincts and hoping you all will understand and still check in every once in a while.

It's been said before that I can't sleep unless I write. So I think my writing will take a slower pace and quietly be written in a journal. I appreciate having this space to record the daily details of our lives, and would hate to become out of touch with that. So please do not feel that this is the end of Bluebirdbaby! Not so at all! Think of it more like a short vacation...

Be well, my friends. Thank you for being here. See you soon.

Hello, It's Me

Here I am. An actual photo that includes my head. I bet you all were doubtful that I even had a head, with all those neck-down shots I take. I skipped the fancy camera and annoying tripod, and settled for the grainy version of Photobooth. This grand gesture of revealing my full-self is in honor of my first "About Me" page.

Sometimes I stumble upon a blog and want to know more about the person writing it. I find that if I first learn a bit about the author, I feel more connected to the writing, as well as the person writing it. So I think you'll find more than you ever need to know about our little family on my new About Me page. And, of course, I'm always willing to answer more questions. I get a lot of questions about photography, so I included a bit about my camera and lenses.

Find anything missing or have a particular question that wasn't covered? Let me know. My e-mail link is right below the new About Me link in the left hand menu. I'm always happy to answer questions!

Waldorf-Inspired and Parenting

This post is a hodgepodge of thoughts. I do not tend to get mushy and sentimental, so this is a side of me you may not hear often. I wrote this late last night, finished typing and thought "oh my...this is really too much." I thought about going back and editing it all, summarizing this very long post into a single paragraph. But then I realized that sometimes the raw emotions of a particular moment can really bring words to life. So I left this post untouched, just as it was when I wrote it curled up on the couch last night.

There's been a lot of talk about Waldorf education around here. A few weeks ago I joined the steering committee for a future Waldorf-inspired preschool cooperative. I first read about Rudolph Steiner when I became pregnant. The Waldorf idea intrigued me and I quickly wanted to learn more. I'm usually not keen on labels. I feel they are too restrictive, but most of the Waldorf theories connect with me on a deep level. It may not be for everyone, but for our family, it fits the bill. Shortly after joining the steering committee, I purchased the book Over the Rainbow Bridge and finished it in record time. I found it to be a very basic and gentle introduction to Waldorf education, parenting, and home life.

As the little one gets older, I find ourselves adopting a certain rhythm in our days. Our routine is not always the same each day, but lunch and nap time often ground us after a hectic morning. Some days I find myself waking up with that dreaded "how will we ever pass the time today?" feeling. This book talks about the importance of rhythm and how establishing certain days for specific activities can help a child develop a sense of time. So we made the chart you see above. Each day is designated for a certain activity such as wash day, baking day, soup day, painting day, hiking day, etc. A child doesn't really grasp the concept of "today is Monday", and are most likely to understand when you say "today is baking day." It eliminates the stress for me to fill our days with activities, and a comforting reminder that we'll have a familiar routine we can sink into week after week.

Yesterday we managed a challenging gluten-free bread recipe and even put a pot of homemade chicken soup on the table for supper. Just a few of weeks ago, I never thought I could do this with a whining toddler at my ankles. But I realized I have a little helper, and if I actually let her help, it can go pretty smoothly. I will admit, I'm really looking forward to next "baking" day.

Since my post about mindful parenting, I have really been working on being present. Every second of every day. When I'm playing with her, I am just playing with her. I'm not thinking of the dirty dishes, the diapers waiting to be washed, or the e-mails waiting to be read. I try to be patient, even in the midst of those toddler tantrums. I admit, patience is not one of my strongest suits. But it's getting better. Instead of playing with her when she's acting clingy, we do housework: cooking, baking, cleaning, laundry, sorting toys, and sweeping (her favorite). Sure, she slows a normally quick task down, but she's engaged in an activity, having fun, and learning at the same time. All the while right by my side, instead of clinging to my legs.

I've limited my computer time to be fully present. I am no longer on the computer when she is awake. I don't want her to think the computer is more important than she is. So much of my time can be sucked away with scouring the internet for information, and although I do learn a lot, I should be learning by doing. Our television (no actual channels come in here, but we do watch Netflix after she goes to bed certain nights) will be moved to the loft, so it will no longer be the focal point of our living room. Stephen and I are limiting our screen time to one or two nights a week, and are taking up reading and playing board games instead. If we don't want her watching television, why should we?

I want her to have a rich experience in her early years. I want her to feel connected with the natural world around her. We're planning on ducks and chickens this spring, and possibly goats this summer. I want her to know where her food comes from, how much effort it takes to grow the vegetables we put on our table. I want her to get to know the wonderful community of people in this area and how lucky we are to recognize at least a handful of people whenever we go into town. She lights up when we see their smiling faces and hands waving a cheery "hello."

The preschool cooperative has been an amazing resource for me. I feel very lucky to be part of the team organizing the future of the school. It has pushed me to learn more about Waldorf, which in turn has pushed me to be more present in mothering. It has made me even more grateful for the joys and challenges of raising a child, and the fulfillment motherhood has brought to my life.

Week 7 (and some favorites)

Another week, another mosaic for the Six One Way pool.

Some favorites:
-this room
-these prints are so neat
-this fabric
-anything from this shop
-this photo
-this shirt
-so creative
-this print
-this photo (and the dress, and the bed, and those walls...)
-this book

A Material Girl

I assure you that a lot of time has been logged in the green room lately. After finishing up the last of the custom orders (I am not taking anymore at this time, but have a waiting list), I quickly got to work on my spring collection. I figure I've probably spent around 12 hours so far just creating patterns and heavily modifying vintage ones. Searching for the perfect fabrics has taken me another four hours (and there's still more to do!) and then there's designing my new shop look, scouting for older models to test my clothing, and getting little goodies to include in packages ready. The above is another sneak peak of my first completed pattern using the actual material and not just muslin! Gosh, I am sick of muslin. It's so incredibly boring.

You see, the longer I sew (it's been a little over a year now) the more I learn. My ability to create an actual piece that I can hold in my hands from an idea in my head is getting easier and easier. I still have a long way to go, and pages in my notebook of ideas I can't quite make realities. But it's getting easier and I have confidence that if I keep at it, those harder things will soon become realities too. I hope this next shop update  (sometime in April, I hope...) will reflect the growth I've made with my sewing. The clothing will have a simple, sophisticated look, but I still keep all my principals in mind: comfort, sizing for cloth diapers, gender neutral, etc. I'm really, really getting excited about it and wish I could work all day, everyday for the next two weeks to get these things in my shop. So please excuse the delay. I do realize other people are much closer to spring than we are!

And a long-time blog reader from Portugal sent us a lovely package with some handmade goodies for both Elisabeth and I! What fun! The bookmark has really come in handy, since I was using a piece of tissue before. And the little one loves her new finger puppet and doll. Thanks Teresa! You'll be hearing from me shortly!

I hope you all have a terrific weekend! See you back here on Monday.

Week 6

For the Six One Way flickr group.

I've had a frustrating two weeks of reacting to gluten. The source is a mystery. I even cut out orange juice to see if it helped, but it didn't. (Has anyone heard of orange juice being contaminated with gluten? I thought I read that somewhere...) So every morning I wake up feeling more tired than I was the night before, and by the afternoon I feel as though I could pass out. My motivation has completely disappeared and is replaced by an achy body in desperate need of sleep and rest. Add to that an almost 18-month-old who has hit the "terrible twos" a tad early. Oy vey.

Week 4

Another one for the Six One Way flickr group. Such fun these are.

Things that are recently making me quite happy:

-This fabric (I know it's not new, but I love it)
-Another fabric love
-This movie (it's one of my favorites. we watched it last night)
-This photo (feels like something right from the past)
-This shirt (who can resist a cute bunny?)
-These note cards (feels like spring)
-This video (because I can never watch those dance moves without laughing)
-This song (okay the video is pretty darn fun too)
-This photo
-This dress
-This amazing photo and the story behind it
-This video (kind of made me want to rip my hair out and scream, but it's good)

So what are you loving at the moment?

Here

I realized yesterday was one of the first weekdays I have not posted since starting this blog. It felt odd not to sit down with my computer after the day had come to a close, working out my thoughts of the day's events by typing away at the keyboard. But it's late February, and really, there's not much to say. Custom orders are being worked on, teething tablets are being consumed like candy, laundry is being washed, meals are being prepared, books are being read, and we're trying to enjoy the cold and snow, no matter how far away green grass seems. 

Perhaps excuse the prior ramblings and just enjoy the picture. That's the sunlight at 5 p.m., hanging on a little more as each day passes. So you see? Spring really isn't that far away and soon beaches, picnics, catching fireflies, picking flowers, fresh tomatoes from the garden, laundry drying in the sunlight, and walks through the woods will follow. And then we'll be dreaming of snowmen, hot chocolate, cozy fires, mittens, and wool socks. So I think I'll just go on enjoying winter, because it really isn't that long, is it?

Week 3 (and other things)

Another one for the Six One Way project. Have I mentioned that in the past week the little one has gotten five new teeth (four being molars)?! Oh yes. Hence the middle picture of the Hyland's teething tablets.

So I have some news for you all. First, I was interviewed by a business opportunities weblog and you can find the interview here. It was a lot of fun to do and hopefully you will find some new tidbits you haven't read before.

I have a new website that is up and coming. ShopBluebirdbaby.com will be launched soon, but for now you can see the little "coming soon" banner I put together. A big thanks to Stephen for taking the time to do the programming for my new site! I'm really excited about it and hope it will provide people with more information about myself and my Bluebirdbaby goods.

And lastly, tomorrow (February 20th), at 2 p.m. EST, you will find two new additions to the shop. These "Everything Bags'' are perfect for so many things. They feature three interior pockets, a key ring to attach your keys, sturdy construction, and a lovely button closure. There will be two different bags in this style, so be sure to check in tomorrow for the update!

A Sunday Afternoon Walk

I've decided my body is in desperate need of exercise. My extent of any physical activity now solely involves running around after a small, energetic child. That's it. Because it wears me out so, it must be enough exercise, right?  Sadly, I have come to realize that it's just not. But when to fit in this exercise?! I can't bring the little one; it's too cold and windy this time of year. Waking up before she wakes up to squeeze some physical activity in would mean I'm up at 4 a.m. No thank you. So I guess I have to just snatch up the one or two times a week I may be able to get out alone.

I used to be a runner and hope that someday soon I will get back into it. But walking is perfect for now. It allows me to marvel at the red apples still hanging from the apple trees; surviving through wintry blizzards, wind storms, and hail.

Or soak up every detail of New England architecture, staring longingly at the house a half mile down the road from us that I have completely fallen in love with. It's original broken windows, the peeling pant on the clapboards, the crooked front steps, and rotting foundation. But I love it so and often imagine fixing it up and  moving ourselves in. It's for sale too. Anyone want to be our neighbor?

The bits and pieces of life abandoned over the years; half buried in snow, waiting for nature's next season and to be enveloped in green grass once again. It amazes me to think of the history this land has. The people who lived here, who worked here, the animals that grazed the land,  and the children who ran among the trees. It's humbling to think that we are only a small piece of a very large picture.

The exercise was much needed and the breaths of fresh air revived my energy. It only seemed fitting to top it off with a slice of flourless chocolate torte, complete with homemade whipped cream. Yes, I think this exercise thing will become a regular occurrence.

Play

Our wooden animals arrived yesterday and the little one was completely engrossed in play. It got me thinking about one of the most challenging parts of being a stay at home mom: having a very needy and demanding little one. A friend and I were recently talking about the amount of self-engaged play you should expect out of a 16-month-old. The little one is sorely lacking in this area. She's demanded my constant attention since day one (well, don't all newborns?) and I have been waiting for a gradual shift of imaginative play on her own. But she still needs my attention at all times.

There are days I put her to bed and still think I can feel those little hands pulling at my legs, or hear that distinct whine that lets me know my time washing the dishes, reading a book, or checking e-mail will soon be over. I've been told to ignore it, to let her figure out ways of entertaining herself, but the whining never ceases when I do this and instead picks up in intensity. I always give in and drop whatever I'm doing to sit on the floor amidst the toys, or plop on the couch with a favorite board book. As long as I'm sitting there doing absolutely nothing but watching her, she will play.

It's recently occurred to me that I spend almost the entire day trying to find time for myself; trying to get her to play on her own. That means whenever I sit down with her I am only thinking, "how long will I have to do this before I can get up and finish those dishes?" I am so fixed on her entertaining herself for more than a couple of minutes that I end up not enjoying the play time we have together.

Those seconds of playing with her new wooden figures yesterday quickly turned into minutes, then a half hour went by and I realized she was running around creating little stories about the animals. She was kissing them, making them "dance" on the floor, feeding them her snacks, tucking them under covers for a nap, and well, entertaining herself for a very good length of time. Is it the toys? Do the toys she has not inspire any self-engaged play? Or is it a developmental leap because she's getting older?

I suppose it doesn't matter. I was just beyond thrilled to see her interacting with her imagination. I think mindful parenting is something that comes and goes in my life as a mother. I seem to be able to "live in the moment" when I am not stressed or too busy. But isn't that when we need it most? For much of the day my head is either in the past or future. I need to be here: living each second as if it's the last I'll ever have. It really seems so silly to just tell yourself that e-mails can wait, dishes can stay dirty, who cares if I actually finish a book in the next year, and to just be in the here and now with my daughter. Because who really wants to look back and remember they spent their child's first years worrying about a messy house? Not me, that's for sure.

So here's to living in the moment. What could be a better challenge in the midst of a very cold and snowy winter?!

A Little Brown Dress

Well, it's done. Finally. After about five hours of work. I apologize for the headless shots. I'm in a phase where I'm really disliking my hair. It had to be chopped off postpartum due to my hair loss and I'm still a tad bitter about it. But we're really not looking at my head here anyway, right? Let's focus on the dress. How do you like it with those dark brown tights and ballet flats? Kind of fitting I should be dressed in shades of brown for the Chocolate Festival Saturday night.

I'll admit, I'm not a good one with patterns. This was particularly challenging due to the neckband and sleeves. If you notice on the pattern I was going for the ties on the ends of the sleeves, but even after three tries I couldn't get them to fit up my arm after sewn. Did anyone else have this problem? I just cut them off and did my own thing. It works.

I successfully finished my first invisible zipper. Can't really see it there, can you? That would be a good thing. It called for a 20" zipper, but all I could find was a 16" zipper so I improvised a bit. The original length of the dress was about six inches longer when I started but I ended up making it shorter. I may take in the sides too for a more fitted look.

The back of the neckband ended up being slip stitched because I had no idea how else to finish it. It took me a good hour, but it's done and I think it will hold up better now.

I definitely think I will use this pattern again. Perhaps a shirt with the same style neckband. I think I need to shift away from solid linens to a subtle print. Just to mix things up a bit.

Have a wonderful weekend! See you back here on Monday.

Redo

I'm much too tired to do a typical post. It's been a week of lousy weather here and we're experiencing a bit of cabin fever. Cloudy days can really shift my mood. I feel lethargic, unproductive, unmotivated, and my mood tends to be on edge. But mostly I'm just tired.

I have managed to find the energy to work on the dress for Saturday. Above is a picture. Oh, the neckline... so much work. So many times did I take that apart and put it back together again thinking "this must be it; this has to work!" only to find out, once again, that I didn't do it correctly. I still have the inside to hand stitch into place, and I'm not really sure that's how it's supposed to be done. Pattern lingo and I (the one who typically makes everything up) don't mix. I'm thinking because I chose this brown linen that I either look like a monk or like I'm wearing a potato sack. Monk or not, it will be worn on Saturday after all this work. You'll get the full view tomorrow...

Oh, and how to you like the new look? I thought it was time for a banner change. I had a compilation of three winter scenes all ready to go, but after this week of lousy weather I decided I've had enough of winter! Pudgy little fingers playing the piano? Perfect, if I say so myself.

A Vintage Dress (for sale)

An annual event in town next weekend led me on the hunt for a new dress. I searched Etsy for a handmade one, but couldn't seem to find anything in my price range. Then I decided to look for a vintage dress and came across the lovely, simplistic one you see above. I was picturing it with black tights and black ballet flats. Perhaps a vintage button-down sweater if it's a tad chilly.

The dress arrived and I knew as soon as I pulled it out of the package that it was too big. Because of the elastic waist, I was thinking I could make it fit. But with my boyish figure, lack of hips and bust, it just wasn't meant to be. You won't find a full body shot of me in it, because I thought it made me look like a had a shrunken head.

I like the square neckline, but the puffy sleeves make my gangly arms look even more gangly.

The pleats on the bodice are really neat. It's given me some ideas for other dresses to make myself.

So if anyone is looking for a vintage dress, e-mail me or leave a comment. I'd say it's about a size 8, but it's hard telling because I lack the essential womanly features that make a dress look nice. It could be a 6. The original listing is here, complete with measurements. I guess I'm off to find another dress that actually fits.

And stay tuned tomorrow for a blog giveaway!!

Sick

Last night I came down with the flu. I have no other symptoms, even my brain seems to be functioning normally (as normal as it can), but I have the awful chills while sweating at the same time, and every part of my body aches. This is what winter is all about right? Snowshoeing, sledding, hot chocolate, snow days, and the flu. I guess I was just waiting my turn.

I'm going to lay low until I feel a bit better.

Blah.

A Small Detail

Anyone who has placed a custom order with me knows I am a speedy worker. I'll usually have the finished product mailed the next day. I've always been this way. I remember being in grade school and finishing my tests a full twenty minutes before anyone else. In high school I used to double check, triple check, and fidget around before finally standing up from my seat. Of course, the class would be staring at me with that "how the heck did you do that so quickly?" look, while I started having doubts that I somehow missed a few pages. So when I get e-mails from my much appreciated blog readers asking when the next shop update is, I find myself in an unusual position. You see, I could have updated it long ago if it weren't for a small detail:

My serger. It's been giving me issues from, well, the beginning. Oh, there's that usual serger temperament going on. You know, the one where even if the room is too humid it seems to stop working. But it's gotten to the point where I serge an inch, have to re-thread everything, serge another inch, re-thread, and repeat. It takes me forever to finish something and usually the end result is not that pretty.

So when I sat down to work Friday night feeling mighty good about getting some things done (along with some DMB, G&B, and a good glass of merlot) and found out my serger would not cooperate, I realized that something is going to have to give. I spent an hour re-threading it over and over. I finally gave up. See those tissues next to my serger in the picture above? Yea, those were definitely needed. I had a little meltdown.

So my serger is no longer in use. This means my planned next shop update is either heavily modified or postponed until I figure something out. Remember my sewing machine giving me trouble a while back? That put a large dent in my savings and a new serger is not even in the picture. One step at a time though, right?

I've managed to come up with some other things that will be finished soon for the shop. I worked on them a bit yesterday and felt that old feeling of satisfaction and productivity return. I dipped into my wool felt stash.

Took a look through my vintage buttons.

And am close to finishing a few (okay, more than a few...) accessories for the little ones which will hopefully make an appearance next Monday, the 21st at 11 a.m. EST.

Thank you for your patience. If anyone has suggestions on a good, not-so-pricey serger, I would greatly appreciate your thoughts.

You Can Find Me Here

Everyday from 5-5:30 p.m. when the little one allows it. It's a start...

New Coats

I just love coats; especially when thrifted.

Time

More and more I am finding that I can't exactly make all the ideas floating around in my head a reality. I have two notebooks, scattered with clothing designs for both adults and children, and just can't seem to make them work. Or more often than not, I settle for the "not quite." It's frustrating. My new sewing machine has been a blessing, but my serger is not meant for everyday use and it's beginning to show the effects; on itself and on my clothing.

I started sewing when I was pregnant. That wasn't too long ago and I really just got into it this past summer. That was the first time I attempted to stitch anything other than a straight line. Sometimes I have to remind myself where I'm coming from; that I haven't been doing this for long. My life path seems to be all over the place: music, organic farming (yes, I actually studied this in college),  graphic design (my original intent when entering college), creative writing, back to music, and now sewing. Currently I want to go to a design school and really learn my trade. But that doesn't quite seem to be in the picture.

So I settle for less than what I think know I can do. Sometimes I am not happy with the end result, although it usually is okay, it's just not what was in my head to begin with. And that's hard for me to deal with.

But with each new project I seem to learn a little bit more. That little bit seems to be enough to keep me going and keeps the ideas flowing. I suppose I'll take it. I have time to figure the rest out, right? Anyway, I've learned that with time, things will come. Case in point.

Production Has Begun

Well, here they are. The first things to be started and completed in the green room: lounge pants for mama and the little one. Thanks to Stephen for taking this lovely picture. I was much to lazy to deal with the tripod. I found this great flannel print at a deal I couldn't pass up.  However, I feel as though I should be headed out the door to one of my junior high sleepovers. That was about the last time I wore flannel printed pants.

I completely guessed on my pants. I traced a well-loved, comfy pair of sweats I wear almost daily (the lady at the fabric store thought I was nuts for doing this. "What? You don't use a pattern??!"), adjusted the rise a bit and ended up with a pair that is mildly comfortable. Next time I have to remember that my behind is a bit bigger than I thought.

The little one's turned out perfectly and are long enough to last through next year I hope.

She got quite the kick out of seeing mama putting her matching flannel pants on. I could tell she wasn't so sure she wanted to "share" pants. But after we both ran around the house a bit, she was willing to accept this new matching game. (I can't say matching will be a normal occurrence around here.)

But they're comfy and they're fun. They'll get a lot of use from us on our lazy Saturdays.

And a big thank you for all the kind and enthusiastic responses to yesterday's post. I really do love my new room and I'm so glad you are all fond of it too! I promise to keep you updated as the room finally is finished.

In the News

Article can be read here.

Giving Thanks

I'm grateful for little moments of quiet play,

a package from a friend containing the most beautiful hat I've ever seen,

a cozy fire on a chilly night,

a gluten-free pumpkin pie,

and Stephen remembering dish soap (we've been out for two days!) so I could finally tackle all the dishes. Ah, there's nothing like baking in a clean kitchen.

And I'm most certainly grateful for all of you; for those of you who take the time out of your days to stop by and say hello. Here's wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving, from our family to yours.

Happiness

Before becoming a mother, I often did things that provided my life with a healthy dose of happiness: dinner with friends, a trip to Videoport in town for a movie, the ferry ride home, hiking, drinking Monte Antico with a side of Green and Blacks, and my favorite...performing in front of hundreds of people. But I never thought of these things as the moments in life that fill me with joy. I never really acknowledged that fact until I became a mother. Now there is no time for most of these. I certainly haven't performed in front of hundreds of people lately and Videoport is a long ways away now.

When you spend all day with a little person who can't communicate her needs very well, wakes up very early (yawn) and proceeds to drain every last ounce of energy from your body in the first two hours of the day, sometimes happiness seems a long way off. In the past I found it hard to think about anything positive when my life seemed so full of negatives. But now, the little things that would have gone unnoticed are getting attention and are filling that happiness hole left when this new motherhood adventure started.

A new sweater paired with my favorite orange shirt.

Watching the completely fearless little one climb on anything she can find.

A dreary October day that really makes you appreciate the amazing color of the trees.

A special order that just arrived at our local bookstore. I've already made it through a few chapters and feel like I could have written it myself.

An easy, but oh so tasty, supper. (Rice pasta, pesto, sheep's cheese and broccoli.)

Working on a gift for someone special.

May you find happiness in the little things today...

Found

Found:
Stephen discovered this old teacup under the dried leaves and moss in our front yard. The old town road used to run across the front of our property, in between the two stone walls that still remain. Apparently when the new road was paved, the old one became a sort of "dump." The little one and I have had great fun digging up old bottles and other treasures.
I am absolutely smitten with this cup and the lovely sea-green color. If not for a chip in the back, it would be in my hands holding some tea this very moment. Instead, it will hold buttons on my work table.

Found:
The little one dragged out this necklace of mine. She found it in a jewelry box on my nightstand. It was a favorite, bought at a jewelry store I worked at long ago on Fore Street in Portland. I wore it almost daily. It's nice to feel it around my neck again and has provided Elisabeth much entertainment.

Found:
This was the scene in the pantry a couple of days ago when I went in to retrieve my daily morning snack. Now you know exactly how serious our Green & Black's addiction is. We started eating a bar a day four years ago. Now the chocolate world seems to have caught on. It's good stuff. Only the dark kind for us. Now go get yourself a bar.

Because...

This is me, coffee in hand, after being up until 3 a.m. with a babe in pain. She reacted to something she ate yesterday and the results were not pleasant (for her or I!). So I'm tired, it's raining, it's cold, it's a Monday, and it seems like the minutes are hours and the day will never come to an end.

Because of all of this, my original topic I had planned to write about will have to wait until another day. But to not leave you on a sad note (I would never do that to you on a Monday), let me tell you 10 things about myself you probably don't know. Anyone want to join in on the fun?

1) I despise sheets. I only have the fitted one on my bed and my feet have to stick out of the quilt or I can't fall asleep.

2) My favorite foods are basmati rice and Green and Black's Dark Chocolate. Not necessarily together.

3) Before I met Stephen, I swore I would never get married or have children, and adopt when I was around 35.

4) I still don't own a sewing machine. I'm "borrowing" my mother's.

5) I make the best vegan mashed potatoes.

6) I took ballet for 10 years, and then switched to figure skating.

7) My favorite movie is "Off the Map". I've watched that more than I care to admit.

8)  My dream is to own a coffee shop. (High ambitions, eh?)

9) I don't like shopping. You couldn't force me into the mall if you bribed me with a bolt from Superbuzzy.

10) I am a jazz trumpet performance major, just a few classes shy of a degree. I don't know when I'll return.

So there you have it. I will be back to more "normal" posting tomorrow after I've actually slept.