Bluebirdbaby

it's happening...

mark and i were going through the journal we keep together the other night and went way back to our list of goals for 2013. we were pleasantly surprised to find that we've accomplished a good many of them, with only the biggest, and most time consuming ones remaining. it's not unlike us to plow through a list of to-do's. it's really what we do best.

but there are the ones that couldn't really be written down. intentions that have been in my heart and my mind for months, if not years now. visions of where i want my life to head, what i would like to accomplish, personal evolving that i work on daily to be a better human being, and all the dreams and hopes i have for myself and my loved ones.

as i approach my 30th birthday, i've taken a lot of time to really reflect on the past and also look ahead to my future. it's funny how life can suddenly seem like it's just flying right by, not waiting for you to catch up and certainly not slowing down when you find yourself stumbling to get back on board. my life feels compressed suddenly...like there are far too many goals i hope to make a reality, way too many things i need to do; all the while realizing that running a business, being a mother and partner, taking care of a house, and trying to take care of myself really just fill up every single second of my existence. and there's not much left for all that other stuff.

and then i sit back and realize that all the other stuff i want to devote more time to just keeps piling up, and i keep putting it aside. and then i look at that stuff piled up in a dark corner of my mental existence and it starts to overwhelm me. then i get stressed about it just sitting there. and then i feel inadequate, or like i'm just not doing a good enough job.

but it's at that point, where i feel like i'm just absolutely going to give up because i will "never" get to it all, that i let it go. i let it go and the negative energy disappears. the to-do's and hopes and dreams and goals just turn into a type of motivating energy. and then guess what? they start to happen. things just begin moving. they come to me instead of me having to seek them out.

it's a funny thing to witness. and it's very reassuring and i am always ever so grateful for it all. i guess sometimes "making it happen" requires our complete surrender. surrendering to our needs, and instead just relying on faith that things will come our way when they are meant to.

what do you think? what has your experience been so far with the "make it happen" challenge? i'm so interested in hearing your thoughts!

a whole new world

did you know i have been a professional photographer shooting with not-so-professional equipment? for years i told myself that it's not what you're shooting with, it's who's behind the camera. which is oh so true.

but i consistently found myself bumping up against some obstacles because of my equipment. what it couldn't do, being stuck in a hard, frustrating place while at a job. but i did what i could and made it work. i valued myself and knew what i was worth, even after continually being questioned by wedding guests that had cameras better than my own. but it was all good. i stood tall and delivered more than i thought capable each and every time.

but when i thought about going into this season, i suddenly panicked. i'm at a place where this is my life; this is what i do and how i make ends meet. and i want to take it further and do more and more. mark kept telling me i needed equipment that could do the job. i kept putting it off. could i use the same equipment that i've been using for the last three years? no. not really. i needed a push. i needed to take that leap.

i researched, read reviews, almost clicked the "purchase now" button many times. and almost two years has passed since i first starting thinking about upgrading. but i did it last week. my new camera arrived in the mail. it's crazy to me. i was too afraid to touch it.

mark will tell you that i'm absolutely scared of debt. i work hard to make it all disappear as soon as it happens. he'll also tell you i'm the last person i'll buy something for. everyone else in the house will have new socks, and i'll still be walking around freezing in my ones filled with holes. i'll make sure everyone else has proper running attire, but i'll be out there freezing in what i've owned for 10 years. but nevertheless, this purchase has been huge. and scary. and it's not over yet. being a professional, i need another one. a back up. with two more lenses. i'm really trying not to think about it. too scary.

i'm just getting over my fear of somehow ruining my new camera before the season starts, so i took a few photos the other day. it's a full-frame, a different lens (i miss my 30mm!), and a CANON. so it's all new to me. buttons are different, the look and feel is different. it's like starting all over and learning from scratch! even the light meter is backwards...

so these are the first images i took with it. tonight i have to master the video capabilities because we fly out to DC on friday to shoot a promo video for a band and music venue on saturday. i've got mics and lights and a new camera to deal with. so i'll be practicing like crazy this week.

in the meantime, i'm selling my Nikon gear. some of it is already sold but here's what i have left:

• Nikon D300s
• Sigma 30mm 1.4f
• Nikon 85mm 1.8f
• Nikon 60mm Macro 2.8f
• Nikon 10-24mm 3.5-4.5f

If you're interested, e-mail me at: erinlittlephoto@gmail.com

 

taking that leap

i feel like the real erin has been a little absent lately. you know...the one who checks in and writes what's in her heart. that one.

and really, i've been meaning to, but life is moving by at such a fast pace that i haven't even had a chance to catch up. photos, recaps, simple words, and quirky little bits are all i've been able to really put together. and i've been enjoying them, but sometimes you just need something really genuine.

a couple of nights ago i was laying in bed thinking about where i am, where i've been, how i got here and what's next. making it happen is always in my mind. there's a lot i need to make happen this year. working hard to make ends meet, being prepared for the unexpected, continuing my own personal work, following my heart, manifesting the life we strive to live...it's continuous effort and work and requires mindfulness daily. but it's something that makes life worth living. it's the reason i am excited to get out of bed in the morning, full steam ahead.

i'm a hard worker. seriously hard. i'm the last one to give up. i push through my work like it's nobody's business. i'm always looking for more, a way to do things better, a way to become stronger, wiser, and more capable. a way to be a better individual, lover, mother, friend, sister, daughter. because i believe if we ever settle for what is now, we never will find out what comes next. and what comes next is usually better. there is always something to learn, so bring it on. growth is essential to happiness.

i tend to play things safe. something that i feel has held me back. i dream big, but when it comes to taking risks, i tend to think in my libra-ish ways and sometimes end up talking myself out of it. but then there's him. he ever so gently nudges me into the unknown, with full faith and encouragement. like i am capable of anything. so i leap. i release my firm grasp and just go, into the unknown. the scary. that hazy gap between what we know and what we'd like to know, where we find out just what it takes to get there. and his hand is there for me to hold if i need it, but you know what? i dig my heels into the ground, wipe the sweat from my brow, and say thanks, but no thanks. i can do it myself. because that way i will learn.

he tells me i'm stubborn, but in a good way. i am. for better or worse, it's usually what pushes me ahead even when i think i should have given up long ago.

but you know what? if i had given up throughout my life, i would not be here. and here is pretty darn good.

despite all the leaping, i'm more grounded than i've ever been in my entire life. i'm me. plain and simple. and he's there, always, with a smile on his face and an, "i told you you could do it."

and he's right. i can.

you and i

mark and i goof around late at night in the studio. we're working on a whole bunch of ukulele duets (can't wait until he breaks out his harmonicas and plays with me...he's goooood!).

this is one of my favorite songs. this was a practice take, but we thought it was so funny that we didn't want to change a thing. we're not great, but we have fun. i put it on the blog's facebook page first, and it was decided it MUST go up on the blog. so here it is...our silliness...

 

You and I from Erin Wallace on Vimeo.

 

 

 

a year of challenge :: make it happen

i've been thinking about this coming year. what i want from it. what i want to create for myself. what i need.

2012 was all about making things happen. a home. my job. my entire existence...it all came to fruition this past year. it required a lot of hard work. a lot. but i believe it mostly came about because of positive thinking and what i wanted to manifest. my life is kind of where i always pictured it as a child. which is really awesome and so fun to see.

i keep telling mark that it's just a funny thing to look around and realize that i am creating the life i've always wanted. and that's just what it is...things don't just happen to you. you need to be the one driving them.

we sat down on New Year's Day and wrote all of our goals for the coming year. it was an empowering thing to do. and it's even more empowering when you are dreaming big and as a team you realize you really can make it all possible. that really whatever we want to do with our lives can totally happen.

i believe that manifesting your hopes and dreams works. i believe that staying positive throughout your daily life and believing that YOU are capable of anything and worthy of good things is key.

so now, with 2013 upon us and a whole new year to create, manifest, dream, hope, do, and enjoy, i want to make it all happen and more. i want to continue molding and shaping the life that i want to lead. i want to continue being completely authentic and genuine and honest and not really give a shit about what other people think.

i want to break free from the mold that we're all so forced to be put in. i want to create a life that's about who i am, no matter what's trying to influence me.

manifesting my dreams, my desires, my hopes, my goals. believing in myself enough to be completely me despite who i feel others want me to be.

so this year is all about leading an authentic life; realizing who you want to be and what you want to do, and not to let anything stand in your way of that. and making it all happen and more.

will you join me in creating the life you deeply desire? let's make it happen!

xo

e

TO JOIN:

here's the button for your blog if you want to join the "make it happen" 2013 challenge! i hope you do! just copy and paste the code below the image!

this is not a daily challenge, or something you even need to blog about. it's simply a personal challenge to keep with you throughout the year. what do you want to make happen this year?

<a href="http://bluebirdbaby.typepad.com/bluebirdbaby/2013/01/a-year-of-challenge-make-it-happen.html"><img src="http://img541.imageshack.us/img541/8681/makeithappen.jpg"</a>

 

are you going to join? leave a comment below and let me know! and if you feel like sharing, what do YOU want to make happen in 2013?!

xo

e