mark and i were going through the journal we keep together the other night and went way back to our list of goals for 2013. we were pleasantly surprised to find that we've accomplished a good many of them, with only the biggest, and most time consuming ones remaining. it's not unlike us to plow through a list of to-do's. it's really what we do best.
but there are the ones that couldn't really be written down. intentions that have been in my heart and my mind for months, if not years now. visions of where i want my life to head, what i would like to accomplish, personal evolving that i work on daily to be a better human being, and all the dreams and hopes i have for myself and my loved ones.
as i approach my 30th birthday, i've taken a lot of time to really reflect on the past and also look ahead to my future. it's funny how life can suddenly seem like it's just flying right by, not waiting for you to catch up and certainly not slowing down when you find yourself stumbling to get back on board. my life feels compressed suddenly...like there are far too many goals i hope to make a reality, way too many things i need to do; all the while realizing that running a business, being a mother and partner, taking care of a house, and trying to take care of myself really just fill up every single second of my existence. and there's not much left for all that other stuff.
and then i sit back and realize that all the other stuff i want to devote more time to just keeps piling up, and i keep putting it aside. and then i look at that stuff piled up in a dark corner of my mental existence and it starts to overwhelm me. then i get stressed about it just sitting there. and then i feel inadequate, or like i'm just not doing a good enough job.
but it's at that point, where i feel like i'm just absolutely going to give up because i will "never" get to it all, that i let it go. i let it go and the negative energy disappears. the to-do's and hopes and dreams and goals just turn into a type of motivating energy. and then guess what? they start to happen. things just begin moving. they come to me instead of me having to seek them out.
it's a funny thing to witness. and it's very reassuring and i am always ever so grateful for it all. i guess sometimes "making it happen" requires our complete surrender. surrendering to our needs, and instead just relying on faith that things will come our way when they are meant to.
what do you think? what has your experience been so far with the "make it happen" challenge? i'm so interested in hearing your thoughts!