It's been a while since I've done any holiday baking (with the gluten-free challenge and all...nothing ever tastes the same) but living with a baker definitely has its perks! Tonight we decided to bake some sugar cookies. The little one was a great help and insisted on putting most of the sprinkles on herself. The end result? Definitely very yummy! Next week: gingerbread cookies!
I don't typically get that excited about holidays, and have never really focused on "giving thanks" for anything in a serious manner around Thanksgiving. But this year, I feel thankful for so many things. I woke up yesterday morning feeling like it was Christmas. I felt that same excitement I did as a little child as I ran to the Christmas tree. We woke up to a yard full of frost that almost looked like snow, and there was such a feeling of festivity in the air. I went the whole day thinking how lucky I was and how thankful I am for everything and everyone in my life. There is just so much to be thankful for...
The little one's first television viewing. I haven't had television in 6 years, so the little one has never seen a show on t.v. or a commercial for that matter. But there is cable where we are staying, and we turned it on for the first time to view the Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade. The little one thoroughly enjoyed the dancing and singing before the parade started. She kept getting annoyed by the commercials and requested "more people!!!" every two minutes.
A Thanksgiving Day morning walk. We hiked over 3 miles with two friends while the little one stayed unusually content in her backpack. The weather was mild and the rain held off. We enjoyed some gorgeous views and it felt great to get some exercise.
Thanksgiving dinner at the sweetest little house ever, with some lovely company. It was a very low-key, relaxed day and we all had a lot of fun. One of the nicest parts was the fact that the pies, stuffing, and side dishes were gluten-free! So I had my first complete Thanksgiving meal without a lot of pain afterward!
An after dinner walk down to the ocean where the little one found a "choo-choo train". The walk seemed to finally tire her out, so she slept on the car ride home and remarkably fell asleep once placed in her bed at home.
And I am thankful for a new place to live, which will hopefully happen this coming week! The little one and I are so excited. We'll be sharing the house with a friend, and I promise to update you with all the renovations/redecorating that goes on. The little one has requested a "green and purple" room...any ideas on how I could make that work?! And you know...there will be a new sewing studio to put together and I am very excited about a new color/theme for that! And soon there will be some craftiness happening on this blog again. I am just itching to get back to sewing! There is just so much to be thankful for!
I hope your Thanksgiving was a good one. Enjoy the weekend!
I am extremely overwhelmed by all your lovely, sweet, and encouraging comments to my last post. Every time I opened my e-mail, I was greeted by words that brightened my day. So thank you all so much. I wish I could reply to everyone individually, but my computer time has been so sparse. I've been trying to post this for four days now! Please know that I felt such warmth from your words and it's amazing how they can make a challenging time much easier. So thank you, thank you, thank you!
The little one and I ended up moving to a temporary place last weekend. It was sudden, and other than lack of sleep, we are both adjusting just fine. We're both a little worn out. Transitioning to another home is hard enough for a toddler, but also transitioning to a big girl bed at the same time makes it even more challenging! I think the biggest hurdle for both of us is a lack of rhythm. When she was around 10 months old, I put in a lot of work creating and maintaining a rhythm to our days. Transitions became smoother, we both knew what to expect, and sleep was easier.
In the last week, we've completely lost that rhythm and it's hard to create a new one when she's not with me everyday. So that is our biggest struggle right now. But once we are in a permanent place, I think we will reestablish a comfortable rhythm and our days will run much smoother.
In other news, I've made a commitment to myself to not buy anything new for our new home. I will need to furnish it. Because I am not taking much from the old house, it's like starting with a blank canvas. It's pretty exciting, especially because I have so many ideas and styles I've never been able to experiment with. This past weekend I headed to a flea market to check out the goods. I didn't walk away with much, but it was fun nonetheless.
I hope to have access to my sewing machine soon, so hopefully you will see some creative work in this space. All these life changes can really leave you exhausted and with little creative energy. I can't wait until I'm back. Thanks for bearing with me, friends. I so appreciate your continued support! Until next time...
So I know I've been sparse around here of late. It's been a crazy fall for me. I feel a little out of rhythm. Fall is my favorite time of year. I love to sit back and watch it pass by, soaking in the warm golden sun, the smells, the colors. But this fall has been far too hectic for me and I find that it's passed by all too quickly.
The craziness I keep talking about? Well, I pondered about how best to bring it up. And I thought about not mentioning anything at all, but I knew my long time readers would notice shifts and changes and have questions. Its all very awkward to talk about, especially when I think about sharing such personal information on a blog for all to see. But really, this blog is a part of my life. I enjoy writing, sharing glimpses of our days, checking in with everyone and reading your wonderful comments (that I have been far too behind to reply to!).
Our little family has been going through some changes for quite some time now. Stephen and I are in the process of going through a divorce. I have been searching for a place to live for months, but having been a stay at home mother for the past 2 years, you can imagine how hard it is to afford something! But it looks like in the next month or two, I will be settled somewhere. I have many supportive friends in the area and I'm very grateful for their kindness and help.
So if I seem a bit absent here and on flickr, please know that I am around and I am still able to read your wonderful e-mails and comments. Hopefully once I get settled, I can concentrate on my writing and photography again. So bear with me until I'm back! Thanks for your continued support. Your comments bring such sweetness to my days.
My friend (and coworker) is building a house and invited the little one and I over to see the progress. Her parents live on a big farm with beautiful gardens, apple trees, four pigs, two horses, and chickens just down the road. So we spent some time at the farm exploring. I was sent home with a stalk of brussel sprouts, kale, and beets. Not to mention our weekly trade of duck eggs for garlic and potatoes. I think I'll have a happy belly all winter long!
The little one especially loved discovering the toys inside that were tucked away in a corner. I've noticed a huge difference in her play since she started preschool in September. She is more engaged and happily plays away for long stretches of time. I've also noticed that the less toys there are, the more she plays. I'm thinking about going through a lot of ours and dwindling them down to a few. Most just sit in the baskets or on the shelves unused. Blocks, her new ukulele, her wooden farm family, and her cars are the most played with. Everything else just seems to go unnoticed! Has anyone else found that having less toys encourages more play?
And we have been regularly putting on performances for anyone who will listen of this song. This is the very song I sang the other month with the guitarist at a local barn gig. The little one insists I play the ukulele while she bangs away on her mini piano. So far she's received some very enthusiastic clapping for her talents. Maybe she'll join me on stage next time!
The little one and I headed down to my mother's house (right outside the "big city") for a few days. We are having lots of fun, although sleep tends to be last on the list, which makes for a very tired mama and a very tired toddler. There's just way too much excitement down this way!
We headed out to a famous lighthouse and fort this afternoon for some kite flying, swinging, and ocean air. After it was a trip to the city to walk around and grab a bite to eat. The little one is thoroughly enjoying herself and everything the big city has to offer! We will return to our little homestead this weekend to settle back into our country life...
We headed to a local apple orchard this morning for some picking. This was the little one's first time, and she really enjoyed filling our baskets and bags with the drops. (And they're free!) We walked away with about 30 pounds of apples which will be turned into pies, applesauce, and apple butter in the next few days.
And downtown gets pretty excited about fall/Halloween. Friday night we watched as the gigantic pumpkins were brought in on tractors and placed all along the sidewalks. Some weigh as much as 400 pounds! Today the festivities began, with artists painting or carving the gigantic pumpkins, and a pumpkin painting party for the little ones. Tomorrow is a parade. I'm pretty sure the little one is going to be a turkey with her preschool class.
I hope you're all enjoying the weekend!
I'll leave you with some songs I am really enjoying at the moment:
This one
This one
and this one.
After a nice chilly morning breakfast of quinoa flakes, we headed into town for story time at the library. We enjoyed some fun fall stories and lots of mama chatting time, then wandered over to the cafe from some tea. The little one was having such a cooperative morning that I decided a stop at the thrift shop was in order. We scored some neat things at a lovely price and spent some time wandering around the little neighborhood after, pointing to all the red, orange, and yellow trees.
Autumn always makes me so happy. I have many wonderful fall memories from my childhood; jumping in leaves, apple picking, pies, curling up under a cozy blanket with a book, the smells, the light changing, spending weekends raking the yard with my mother, Halloween costumes, baking, picking out pumpkins, and the list goes on. I hope the little one finds this time of year just as special as I do. I'm sure she'll have plenty of pictures to remember it by!
So much has been going on the last week that I haven't had a moment to sit down to post. First of all, I know a lot of you have asked how the little one is doing with preschool. Well, she's not too enthusiastic about it when I drop her off. The first day I got a call 3 hours later asking to come pick her up. Although I was at work, so she had to stick it out the whole day. The teachers tell me she's getting better and better, although why my normally social, outgoing, fearless little girl is the only one who puts on quite a show when mama leaves, is beyond me. She's going through a new phase (which started the week prior to preschool) where she is very clingy, needy, and whiny. So add that to being away from mama for 7 hours, two days a week, and you have a recipe for some hard moments. I'm sure with time it will get easier.
The food sensitivities have proved to be challenging. She's been exposed to gluten twice. We're still trying to figure out how to deal with that. Any suggestions?
I'm really enjoying my job at the natural food co-op. It's such a break for me and I adore the people working there. I also end up buying lots of yummy food and I'm pretty sure I've (unfortunately) now doubled our already high grocery bill. Oops. I have a weakness for their gluten-free turkey sandwiches that are (gulp) $7.
We supposedly had our first frost last night. The weather is so cool and crisp. It's definitely fall now. I cleared out the raised beds and picked all the basil, carrots, summer squash, and herbs. All that's left are the beets and onions. Apple picking is coming up and there will be applesauce and cider. Tomorrow I'm making a huge batch of pesto. Does anyone know if it's possible to can pesto? Those small canning jars are the perfect size for one meal and I love the thought of not dealing with frozen pesto.
I made this fall jacket for the little one last week. It's my own pattern. I lined it with soft flannel. I wanted to wait and get action shots, but it seems we are always in a rush when she has it on. I'll try again this week. It went together quite quickly, although I always have a hard time with the arms, especially when it is lined. The holes are too small to fit around the arm of the machine, so I don't get as neat of seam as I'd like. But thankfully the messy part is always the part you can't visibly see! I'm pleased with the end result though and the little one seems to enjoy it.
Tomorrow will be more birthday celebrating and Sunday starts another work week for me. I hope you all enjoy your weekend!
I went back through my archives and found a few oldies. Can we all let out a collective, "awwww!"?
Many of you have been wondering just what will happen to the little one once I begin working part time. Well, way back last winter I joined a committee to start a Waldorf school in the area. Remember that? Well, the committee kind of fell apart after a couple of months and we went our separate ways. But one member decided to start her own preschool/daycare at her home.
So the little one will be attending this lovely Waldorf-inspired program two days a week while I work. She's still a bit young for "school" and I imagine her more of observing the bigger kids and getting lots of play time in. She's such a social creature and being stuck at home with me day in and day out has proved too much for the both of us.
It's funny how you have this picture in your head of how you will parent. And you have it all planned out and think how amazing and lovely spending every day with your baby will be. And then the child is born. And if that child is totally and completely different than anything you had expected, you soon realize that who you had imagined to be as a mother is totally dependent on what type of child you have.
I was so intent on doing everything naturally. No bottles, no formula, no sleeping in a crib, no baby gadgets, she'd sleep happily in the sling all day long. But these things didn't work out. By month 4 of the colic I was begging to borrow bouncy chairs, exersaucers, and other colorful plastic things that adorned our house for too many months. By month 8, after not having slept longer than 2 hours at a stretch since her birth, we finally ditched the cosleeping and moved her into her own crib. By month 10, I gave up trying to successfully breastfeed her on an elimination diet and switched her to a medical formula. She changed overnight after that.
As frustrated as I feel about all of this and as much as I want to yell "but this isn't how I wanted to parent!!", I have realized that it's not about me. It's about her. And every decision I make, whether it goes against all of my mothering instincts or not, is entirely for her benefit and really isn't about me one bit.
So even though I am excited to start working, part of me mourns that amazing (and all too often trying!) opportunity to be at home with my child everyday. But I know that we are both ready for a change. And I feel like with every passing day she is showing me how best to let her grow, what she needs to thrive, and what she needs from me as a mother. But it's so hard to imagine having to ask someone else what your child did that day, if she learned any new words, or if she accomplished a new skill, or is there some new snack she likes? It's hard letting her go a little bit. Knowing that there will be some days we do our separate things.
So her first day of "school" is September 8th. I don't think it will be hard for her. She's so amazingly social and all her buddies will be there. But me? Well, I think maybe I might shed a tear knowing that a certain chapter in our lives is ending. Either that, or skip happily back to my car where my hot coffee and my choice of music awaits!
Amazing what can be accomplished in the short time it takes for me to put groceries away. You might not be able to see the dark purple ball of yarn that was unraveled and dragged across the entire house, wrapping itself around chairs, toys, and table legs along the way. But trust me, it's there.
(Photo from last Mother's Day)
Motherhood was never something I saw in my immediate future. My plan was to adopt in my late thirties, thinking I'd be this very independent gal who traveled all over the world touring (with a band) and never really had time to settle. So when I found myself married and pregnant in my early twenties, that future that I had envisioned since childhood suddenly broke into a million tiny pieces and floated away. But I was okay with that. I knew motherhood would open up a whole new world of possibilities.
I didn't realize that with becoming a mother, the identity I had always known, the person I had become, would suddenly disappear as soon as my screaming daughter was placed on my chest after a long and painful birth at home. The person I had grown accustomed to, who I had finally learned to accept and found comfort in, was suddenly a sleep-deprived, lactating, worried, anxious woman who now had an added appendage that was never there before. It took months to grow into my role as a mother. It wasn't love at first sight and there were many rough times before I could really settle into my new role. I often found myself longing for the person I was before.
But with all the evolving and adapting over the last 19 months, I will say that I wouldn't change a thing. The person I have become, who I have grown into and grown to love, is way more interesting, insightful, creative, loving, and compassionate than the person I was before. To have the honor of spending everyday with this marvelous, captivating, and amazing little person who has so much to offer the world, is a remarkable gift. I find great joy in being her mother and the gift of motherhood is something I will be forever thankful for.
I hope you enjoyed Mother's Day. See you around...
Saving my many dance costumes from years and years of ballet and tap proved to be a very good choice. While Papa worked away on taxes over the weekend, the little one and I had fun trying on old tap and ballet shoes (my ballet flats from 3rd grade still fit), and of course the many tutus and sequined leotards (which no longer fit me, thank goodness).
This post is a hodgepodge of thoughts. I do not tend to get mushy and sentimental, so this is a side of me you may not hear often. I wrote this late last night, finished typing and thought "oh my...this is really too much." I thought about going back and editing it all, summarizing this very long post into a single paragraph. But then I realized that sometimes the raw emotions of a particular moment can really bring words to life. So I left this post untouched, just as it was when I wrote it curled up on the couch last night.
There's been a lot of talk about Waldorf education around here. A few weeks ago I joined the steering committee for a future Waldorf-inspired preschool cooperative. I first read about Rudolph Steiner when I became pregnant. The Waldorf idea intrigued me and I quickly wanted to learn more. I'm usually not keen on labels. I feel they are too restrictive, but most of the Waldorf theories connect with me on a deep level. It may not be for everyone, but for our family, it fits the bill. Shortly after joining the steering committee, I purchased the book Over the Rainbow Bridge and finished it in record time. I found it to be a very basic and gentle introduction to Waldorf education, parenting, and home life.
As the little one gets older, I find ourselves adopting a certain rhythm in our days. Our routine is not always the same each day, but lunch and nap time often ground us after a hectic morning. Some days I find myself waking up with that dreaded "how will we ever pass the time today?" feeling. This book talks about the importance of rhythm and how establishing certain days for specific activities can help a child develop a sense of time. So we made the chart you see above. Each day is designated for a certain activity such as wash day, baking day, soup day, painting day, hiking day, etc. A child doesn't really grasp the concept of "today is Monday", and are most likely to understand when you say "today is baking day." It eliminates the stress for me to fill our days with activities, and a comforting reminder that we'll have a familiar routine we can sink into week after week.
Yesterday we managed a challenging gluten-free bread recipe and even put a pot of homemade chicken soup on the table for supper. Just a few of weeks ago, I never thought I could do this with a whining toddler at my ankles. But I realized I have a little helper, and if I actually let her help, it can go pretty smoothly. I will admit, I'm really looking forward to next "baking" day.
Since my post about mindful parenting, I have really been working on being present. Every second of every day. When I'm playing with her, I am just playing with her. I'm not thinking of the dirty dishes, the diapers waiting to be washed, or the e-mails waiting to be read. I try to be patient, even in the midst of those toddler tantrums. I admit, patience is not one of my strongest suits. But it's getting better. Instead of playing with her when she's acting clingy, we do housework: cooking, baking, cleaning, laundry, sorting toys, and sweeping (her favorite). Sure, she slows a normally quick task down, but she's engaged in an activity, having fun, and learning at the same time. All the while right by my side, instead of clinging to my legs.
I've limited my computer time to be fully present. I am no longer on the computer when she is awake. I don't want her to think the computer is more important than she is. So much of my time can be sucked away with scouring the internet for information, and although I do learn a lot, I should be learning by doing. Our television (no actual channels come in here, but we do watch Netflix after she goes to bed certain nights) will be moved to the loft, so it will no longer be the focal point of our living room. Stephen and I are limiting our screen time to one or two nights a week, and are taking up reading and playing board games instead. If we don't want her watching television, why should we?
I want her to have a rich experience in her early years. I want her to feel connected with the natural world around her. We're planning on ducks and chickens this spring, and possibly goats this summer. I want her to know where her food comes from, how much effort it takes to grow the vegetables we put on our table. I want her to get to know the wonderful community of people in this area and how lucky we are to recognize at least a handful of people whenever we go into town. She lights up when we see their smiling faces and hands waving a cheery "hello."
The preschool cooperative has been an amazing resource for me. I feel very lucky to be part of the team organizing the future of the school. It has pushed me to learn more about Waldorf, which in turn has pushed me to be more present in mothering. It has made me even more grateful for the joys and challenges of raising a child, and the fulfillment motherhood has brought to my life.
With the daylight lasting well into the evening, and a little someone's naps getting mysteriously shorter and shorter, I've tried to come up with new activities to do together. Of course, she'd be content to read all day long, the same books over and over, but mama is looking for a new activity. Crayons get thrown on the floor and stomped on until they crumble to bits, I don't even want to think about finger painting, and although she does like to run around with mama's Sharpies, I was thinking something a little more gentle and not quite as permanent.
So our first adventure in painting with watercolors took place two days ago and it was a big hit. We set up a little table by the window so we could watch the birds while painting and got to work.
The concentration on her face made me realize how old she's getting and how she develops new skills in a matter of hours. It's quite amazing to watch. After a good deal of time painting with the brushes, she eventually switched to watercolor finger painting. It worked ... actually better than the brushes did. Always willing to experiment and test the limits, she is.
As I was cleaning up I heard some crinkling behind me. I turned around to find her sitting on her first completed painting and tearing it to pieces while giggling. I quickly grabbed the other drying paper and tacked it to our bedroom wall. Now before bed and nap time she points excitedly to the painting and smiles proudly. She made something.
Thank you for all your comments and advice on yesterday's post. No, I'm not pregnant and had a good laugh at those suggestions! I'm cutting out orange juice again for a longer time to see if that helps. And tomorrow will be a long overdue crafting post!
Our wooden animals arrived yesterday and the little one was completely engrossed in play. It got me thinking about one of the most challenging parts of being a stay at home mom: having a very needy and demanding little one. A friend and I were recently talking about the amount of self-engaged play you should expect out of a 16-month-old. The little one is sorely lacking in this area. She's demanded my constant attention since day one (well, don't all newborns?) and I have been waiting for a gradual shift of imaginative play on her own. But she still needs my attention at all times.
There are days I put her to bed and still think I can feel those little hands pulling at my legs, or hear that distinct whine that lets me know my time washing the dishes, reading a book, or checking e-mail will soon be over. I've been told to ignore it, to let her figure out ways of entertaining herself, but the whining never ceases when I do this and instead picks up in intensity. I always give in and drop whatever I'm doing to sit on the floor amidst the toys, or plop on the couch with a favorite board book. As long as I'm sitting there doing absolutely nothing but watching her, she will play.
It's recently occurred to me that I spend almost the entire day trying to find time for myself; trying to get her to play on her own. That means whenever I sit down with her I am only thinking, "how long will I have to do this before I can get up and finish those dishes?" I am so fixed on her entertaining herself for more than a couple of minutes that I end up not enjoying the play time we have together.
Those seconds of playing with her new wooden figures yesterday quickly turned into minutes, then a half hour went by and I realized she was running around creating little stories about the animals. She was kissing them, making them "dance" on the floor, feeding them her snacks, tucking them under covers for a nap, and well, entertaining herself for a very good length of time. Is it the toys? Do the toys she has not inspire any self-engaged play? Or is it a developmental leap because she's getting older?
I suppose it doesn't matter. I was just beyond thrilled to see her interacting with her imagination. I think mindful parenting is something that comes and goes in my life as a mother. I seem to be able to "live in the moment" when I am not stressed or too busy. But isn't that when we need it most? For much of the day my head is either in the past or future. I need to be here: living each second as if it's the last I'll ever have. It really seems so silly to just tell yourself that e-mails can wait, dishes can stay dirty, who cares if I actually finish a book in the next year, and to just be in the here and now with my daughter. Because who really wants to look back and remember they spent their child's first years worrying about a messy house? Not me, that's for sure.
So here's to living in the moment. What could be a better challenge in the midst of a very cold and snowy winter?!
Thank you for all your well wishes. I am feeling a bit better. Perhaps it was a 24-hour flu? One of the hardest things about being sick and a stay at home mama is figuring out how to entertain a very active toddler when I can hardly move.
So what captured her attention for at least ten minutes? Washing her dishes after lunch.
Drinking water from the faucet.
Filling cups of water. (And then dumping the water on the floor.)
Even though she was completely soaked by the end of it, she was happy and self-engaged. The best part was mama got a ten minute rest before having to clean up a dripping toddler and puddles on the floor.
I think one of the most amusing things about having a little one is the imitating that goes on. She watches us ever so carefully, during times when we think her attention is elsewhere, and then surprises us by doing the exact thing we were doing minutes ago. Yesterday I turned around from my pancake making activities to find her reading the paper. Her face, the pose, everything about this just made me want to laugh and cry in the same moment.
She has this imitation down to a "T." Complete with reading out loud and turning the pages. She points to pictures and reads the captions underneath. She puts the paper down and sighs, picking up her mug of water, and then goes right back to reading. Obviously the pancake making activities were put to a halt and I ran to get the camera. Oh, these are the moments I hope to never forget.
Due to the carbon monoxide fiasco, we had the pleasure of getting to know a lovely neighbor. While at her house with the little one we not only discovered she collects buttons, but that she also adores thrifting. She graciously gave me a bag of vintage buttons (and another bag made its way home yesterday) and we made a date to go thrifting at two of our favorite local spots.
So on Tuesday we headed out for a little thrifting fun. I finally (after months of searching) found a chenille bedspread in absolutely perfect condition. The price tag couldn't have been better either. It's all washed and ready to go on the bed. I'm anxiously awaiting our next trip already...
It feels as though ages have passed since I sat down to write for you all. Holidays can really keep a person busy (as well as other secretive projects going on...) and although I've managed to turn out a few picture heavy posts, my head is near explosion with the amount of ideas and inspiration spinning around. I know it will take me a few days to get back into the groove, and what better time to start than the first day of the new year?
Yesterday, after finally finishing that big "secretive project" I've been hinting at, I had a moment to stop and breathe. These past two weeks (okay, really it's been two months) have seemed like a race to a finish line that was barely visible. Now it's been crossed and it feels better than I imagined. Expect a nice, long post about this big project on Wednesday. Sorry to keep you waiting, but trust me, it's worth it.
When I finally had the chance to breathe, it seemed only fitting to do that breathing in the great outdoors; where each inhale of the cold winter air refreshes my body and spirit. Jack Frost has been no stranger around these parts. Another eight inches added to the already snow covered ground.
I strapped on my snow shoes just to get the mail. I was under the impression that snow shoes helped keep your feet dry and made trudging through the thick blanket of snow a little easier. My only thought was "I must be doing something wrong."
My constant companion bounded through the snow with ease. My only defense is he has four legs, while I only have two. That must make it easier somehow.
Although the garden is covered, little bits of dormant plants peek above the snow, waiting for spring and a chance for new life.
While I much prefer the cold, crisp air of winter to the humid air of summer, I look at these photos and remember that not too long ago the scene was so very different. And yes, those are my knees being covered by snow. I was frantically trying to get the following picture before it was too late:
The winter sun, blaring orange and setting below the hill. Beautiful. The last sunset of 2007.
Happy New Year!
The weather here has been just lovely this past week. Periods of clouds that seem to dissipate as the days wear on, followed by the lovely sun and its warmth. I've discovered that the little one dislikes mittens. You see, mittens tend to stifle her normal "collecting activities" (acorns, pine cones, and lately the ice sheets on top of puddles) and she either wants to go in right away or makes it loud and clear that the mittens MUST COME OFF! So I have been thankful that the thermometer has been reaching a high 50 degrees (late November in Maine?!) and mittens are not required.
We do, however, have to wear the cute little hat the talented Grace sent us. I'm surprised she is content with keeping it on her head and I laugh every time she smiles as I tie the strings underneath her chin.
The back is my favorite part. That little point at the top? Lovely.
Her new thing is throwing the dog his ball. She usually finds it sitting in a puddle, all wet and covered in slobber. Shall I mention she usually tastes it before throwing it?!
And here she is trying to get Macaulay's attention. He wasn't entirely enthused by her game.
Of course, we check the mail. She has to get it herself (with a little hoist from mama) and carry it all the way back to the house.
Lately there have been puddles everywhere. If she didn't have such tiny feet, I'd get her some rain boots. They'd come in very handy around here. I once told her "no" when she tried to step in a deep puddle with her only pair of shoes on, and being the determined little thing she is, puddles have become like gold to her. So I stay out of it and let her at 'em.
And with all the interesting things to climb on, a little help from mama is always needed.
*I'm headed an hour west later today to look at sewing machines; both new and used. Any suggestions or advice would be greatly appreciated!!*
It's becoming a rare treat to have a morning to myself. With all of the house projects and winterizing activities going on, I am with the little one seven days a week. But Saturday I was delighted to do a little shopping on my own, complete with a stop at a fabulous flea market. I always feel a tinge of guilt walking out the door, while the little one stands bewildered holding her arms out so I will take her with me. She doesn't quite get that mama can leave without her. But she's much too independent and soon forgets I'm even gone. Still, I usually rush through my errands, ignoring the fact that I need moments away from her to be a better mama.
But on this trip, I enjoyed every moment. I walked up and down the aisles, visiting the same booths over and over again to stare at the wonderful vintage treasures I longed to take home with me. I think I picked up the same bowl at least four times on my trips around the vast building, staring at its lovely sea-green color, debating whether it should join the others on the shelf in my kitchen. This basket and the vintage linens and fabric scraps inside were a find at a local thrift store I stopped at first.
This apron? A deal for sure, and can I say how fun it was to make pancakes the next morning wearing it? Why don't more people wear aprons? They're fabulous!
This apron's rick-rack was hand sewn. I love turning it over and looking at the not-quite-perfect zigzag stitching on the back. There is something so meditative and rewarding about sewing by hand. I must do more of it.
And I was completely overjoyed to find this bit of vintage fabric. I love it.
I was happy to take my time that morning. I completely let go of all the guilt and just told myself to "be in the moment." I stopped to get a latte, pulled off the road to visit any antique shop that I pleased and really enjoyed having the time to myself. When I got back home I was ready for another week of parenting. I was more centered and able to be fully present for the little one. All of the goodies I came home with? A nice bonus, that's all.
I'm grateful for little moments of quiet play,
a package from a friend containing the most beautiful hat I've ever seen,
a cozy fire on a chilly night,
a gluten-free pumpkin pie,
and Stephen remembering dish soap (we've been out for two days!) so I could finally tackle all the dishes. Ah, there's nothing like baking in a clean kitchen.
And I'm most certainly grateful for all of you; for those of you who take the time out of your days to stop by and say hello. Here's wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving, from our family to yours.
*I am so thrilled by the enthusiastic responses to yesterday's post. I'm very interested to see what you all come up with, so if you do find that perfect thrifted sheet and decide to do something with it, let me know-I'd love to see it!*
A good deal of our day is spent reading. I started reading to Elisabeth when she was three weeks old. For months it was one of the only ways to stop the incessant crying. She had her favorites back then; those books that really caught her attention, even during the midst of doctors poking and prodding and the long car drives down to the big city.
We keep a basket handy of books to get through the week. It sits in the living room near the rest of her toys. There are pillows to plop on for a good read and snacks always nearby. Sometimes she can get absorbed in a book for about fifteen minutes, which is saying a lot considering she never seems to slow down for anything else; not even food.
We're still mostly into board books because she does like to flip the pages herself and tends to lug the books around with her everywhere, so traditional paper pages just don't hold up. However, we are now into reading longer stories so our biweekly trips to the library result in a bag full of books mama is very excited to get reading.
The rest of her books are kept in her room. We rotate the selection in the smaller basket each week. Most of the books come from thrift shops and the secondhand bookstore in town. Our local bookstore carries a wonderful selection of children's books and I've had my eye on Elsa Beskow's books for weeks now.
Most of the day, our reading time is spontaneous. She grabs a book, comes over and puts it in my lap while signing the word for "more" (like the above photo) and saying "please" ("peeee!"). We sit, read, and repeat the process until we've gone through at least five books.
Most of the time it's mama who needs a break from the reading. There's only so many times I can read about saying goodnight to a moon in one day. But I have to smile when she insists on reading the same book I loved as a child over and over again. The same old, well-loved, taped together copy I had at her age.
But I really enjoy our reading time together. It's the only (and I mean only) time of the day when she is contently sitting and not struggling to get out of my lap. She is one busy little lady, and I am so thankful for her love of books and the time it allows us to spend together.
We're always on the lookout for more great books. Please, leave a comment and let us know some of your favorites.
We spend the middle part of our days outside exploring the eight acres that surround our house. The little one is always excited to get going. She insists on walking herself, motioning for me to put her down after I open the door. These days we are always greeted by a blast of chilly air, which for a moment makes me question our decision to venture out instead of curling up on the couch with a cup of cocoa. But the little one will not be stopped.
We have our little rituals: stopping to scoop up rocks on the path (while I keep them from going into her mouth), touching the garden lights, saying "hello" to our car, trying to find the dog, and then we finally get to exploring.
On this particularly chilly day, we had a mission. We wanted to find some objects to bring inside for our winter nature table. Yes, it's getting to be that time. Winter. Brrrr. I actually smelled snow the other day. It always comes sooner than we ever expect it to. So before that white blanket covers the earth, we decided to find a few things first. Her little basket is always with us on our walks. She never lets go of it. She does allow mama to plop a few goodies in there too, but mostly she decides.
Then we come inside, warm up with a hot drink and look at our treasures. She pulls each one out with more excitement than when she put it in. I'll miss these days come winter. For now I just take comfort in the fact that these objects will remind us of the walks we took, the things that made her smile, and the fun we had, all winter long.
I used to love to hike. I would get out of work, pick up the dog and head to my favorite winter hiking spot. We would hike through a foot of snow, the only ones on the mountain. No footprints or tracks; we made our own. It was so peaceful and I found it especially refreshing to breathe in the cold mountain air while my body warmed up under layers of wool. The dog would bound merrily down the trail, stopping every 100 feet or so to wait for me.
Sadly, I eventually got too caught up in life and the busyness it entails. I stopped going to my favorite mountain and instead traded it in for the convenient, albeit hectic, streets I would run daily just outside our door. But since having a child, I seem to want to connect with nature more. I want to get back to hiking, walking trails, taking picnics by the lake, burying my toes in the sand at the beach and generally just slowing down a bit, using the outdoors as my starting point.
So Sunday we took a family day and headed to Dodge Point, a short drive from our house with easy trails that navigate around a pond and open up to the gorgeous Damariscotta River. The little one had never been on a trail before and she was rather excited to get going. If she actually would have stayed on the trail, I'm sure she would have walked a good part of it. However, the woods proved to be more exciting to her, so in the Ergo she went!
I told Stephen that he better take some pictures of me for the family album. Elisabeth is going to think her mama never existed because I'm always the one behind the camera.
So, being the natural model I am (insert loud laughing here), I posed in the only position I could think of after a marathon viewing of the Austin Powers movies...just like Dr. Evil.
We collected some things to bring back with us for the winter nature table. I love these little pine cones. We can only find the long, skinny pine cones on our property, so I was so pleased to discover the short, round ones.
Elisabeth was beyond thrilled when we came to the Damariscotta River. She actually tried to go swimming on that cold, windy day. Papa stopped her, thank goodness. There was a great deal of sitting in mud though.
And for the first time since she was 5 months old, she fell asleep in the carrier. It was so sweet. I had tears in my eyes thinking this could very well be the last time it happens.
I'm sure there will be plenty of outdoor time this weekend for us, and I only hope yours will include some too! Enjoy your weekend!
I feel as though my posting about Elisabeth has been a little lax, so grab a cup of tea and a cookie...this one might be a doozy.
From the first day of Elisabeth's life, I knew she was different. She's intense, smart, high energy, curious, mischievous, outgoing, extroverted, determined, fearless and always on the go. She came out wanting to run and I swear is continually frustrated by the things she can't yet do.
When she walked at 10 months, you could physically see some of that frustration melting away. The more abilities she gains, the happier she is. She has never sat still (even when she couldn't crawl yet), never wanted to be held in a position that is relaxing or left alone for some quiet time. She doesn't cuddle and would rather only be held if there is something interesting for her to see at the grown-up level. When she gets hurt, she cries for a second, brushes herself off and goes right back to doing what got her hurt in the first place. She is the most determined little thing I have ever seen.
There mere mention of the word "no" sends her into a completely single minded state, where she can think of nothing else but doing the forbidden activity, or wanting that banished object. She spends most of our indoor time trying to get into the toilet or reaching for the disgusting brush behind it. Or what about the diaper pail? Yes, she thinks that's the most interesting thing of all. Electrical cords on the floor or outlets? Yes please! And shall we even mention the objects that go into her mouth while looking straight at me with those sly eyes? Pebbles, rocks, sand, dirt, grass, leaves, paper, buttons, dust balls, dog hair...you name it, she's tried it.
I used to wonder why she was so different. A lot of her "spiritedness" as a younger baby was caused by her lack of sleep. A newborn awake for 10 hours straight? No, it couldn't be, could it?! But once we got her sleeping better that spiritedness started working for her, instead of against her. (In this picture she is three weeks old and was alert like this pretty much all the time.)
Raising a spirited little one is exhausting work. Raising any child is a lot of work and every parenting adventure isn't without its challenges. I've had so many older mothers come up to me while we are out and about and say, "She's different, I can tell. I had one too. Good luck to you." I can't even tell you how many times I've heard this. And I've spotted other little ones out there too with that same spirited quality that Elisabeth holds, all you have to do is look into their eyes.
She wants to swing high, run fast, climb stairs bigger than she, ride her bike at lightning speed, jump off any object she can climb, stand in her chair instead of sit, shout instead of talk with an "indoor voice", play with the big kids and, well, generally do everything more intensely. She throws herself down slides without first checking to see if mama is at the end to catch her. She will hurdle down stairs half as high as she without holding onto anything.
She trips, she falls, she stumbles and she gets right back up with more determination than before. She prefers cinnamon on her toast, garlic hummus instead of plain, pesto on her pasta, olive oil on her rice and garlic on her broccoli. She wants to hold her own spoon, turn her own pages, pick out her own clothes, put on her own socks and shoes, and I think if she could figure it out, she'd change her own diaper.
All of these qualities make for one extremely intense and spirited individual. There's no stopping her. I can't wait to see what the coming years will bring. What activities will she want to excel at or what will capture her interest? (Sky diving is my guess.) What she will be when she grows up? For now, we watch this determined little thing and know for a fact that she will be capable of so many things. Who knows... maybe she'll even change the world.
